Dear Old Me:
I am so sorry.
I cannot count the numerous times that I told you that I hated you, and called you awful, degrading names. I picked out your every flaw, and held them against you for so long. I compared you to the magazines and the photo-shopped images that are plastered everywhere by the media today. You never looked beautiful enough, even after spending 45 minutes putting on makeup. You were never thin enough, or curvy enough. I never let you feel like you were worth it because of how others treated you, even though what they chose to do to you was out of your hands. I allowed guys to determine your worth, based on how long they stayed and how good they treated you. This was also out of your control, but that didn't matter to me at the time. I let you cry yourself to sleep, drink a little too much, and wish you could disappear for too many nights. I never allowed you to be free, because I never let you forget the past. I held your mistakes against you, even years after they passed. Even though you tried your best to make up for the mistakes you made, I never let you feel satisfied by your efforts. It was never good enough. I held you back from being your best. I kept you from living your life to the fullest because you were too afraid to fail. You were too afraid of what the consequences might be this time.
Please forgive me.
Dear Current Me:
I forgive you.
It took time, but I forgive you for all the hardships you put me through. I'm okay. I know how hard it can be to be a girl growing up in the world we live in today. Things are not what they used to be. I have grown into someone I wouldn't have even recognized back then. I have learned to love me, for me, and began to allow others to love me too. Beauty isn't skin deep. It took a long time for me to realize that what's inside means more, but I now see that after all you've put me through. I still see the same flaws that I used to, but I've accepted them, realizing that no one is perfect, even if the media portrays them to be. It's business to them, but I am not a product that is trying to be sold. My value cannot be price-tagged. I have purpose here, even if back then I was too immature to see the big picture. As for the guys you allowed to define me, they were never worthy of my time and efforts to begin with. Looking back now, it was their loss to give me up and treat me so poorly, but if it wasn't for the poor treatment you allowed me to undergo in relationships, I wouldn't know what I deserve now. I grew up. I became more mature, and realized the more important things in life are not what I used to think they were. The only person I need to be good enough for is myself. No one's opinion of me matters but my own. If it wasn't for you, I may never have had the chance to grow into the person I am today.
I am good enough.
Thank you.
