This wasn't supposed to be my first Odyssey post. I thought I'd start with something light and thoughtful, yet provoking. I made a well-drafted list with bullet points and annotations. A listicle would be cool for my first odyssey post, right? Something like 10 signs of this or 5 reasons you're that. BUT (there always is a but), I came across an article on a topic that needs attention.
The article went something like this: boy rapes girl, and the judge gives boy no jail time because boy should have a college experience.
As I am getting ready to write my light and fluffy listicle, I read yet another case similar to the one I previously mentioned: What was she wearing? Why did she drink?
Before I begin, let's be clear. Boys are not the problem. Men are not the problem. Athletes are not the problem. Rapist and rape culture are the problem.
There is victim shaming and blaming as women and girls are treated as mere casualties in a boy’s coming of age narrative. The narrative, saturated in male privilege and dipped in rape culture, dates back to David and Bathsheba and is all over our college campuses today. It says to women and girls, “Don't get raped’’ instead of telling the rapist, “Don't rape.’’ The narrative reminds rape and sexual assault survivors of their own trauma.
While I am always disgusted with rape culture and anyone who defends it, something else concerns me. Victims, girls like me who were sexually abused and are rape survivors, read this rhetoric on their Facebook feeds. Or, as they check Twitter, their private, and sometimes secret, pain is perpetuated.
In the midst of the talk about star athletes, consent and promising male futures, what matters are the women and girls who have suffered these attacks.
I often wonder how those girls are doing. Are they surrounded by love, support and truth? Do they have a shoulder to cry on or are they locked away in their apartments alone? I hope more than anything they have a light in the midst of their darkness.
MY GOD, how brave to file a police report and go through all the legal protocol, have a rape kit taken to a hospital and sit in court, and share one's trauma in front of the man who caused that trauma, only for the person who hurt the victim to be freed.
If you are like me, a rape and sexual assault survivor, I am here to speak truth.
If you were brave enough to speak up or too afraid to tell a soul, I understand. Whether you were wearing a tight dress, niqāb or an onesie, you are not responsible for the blame. Maybe you were drunk, or maybe you were sober. Whether you said yes or could not say no, you are now saying no.
To the victims, survivors and fighters, I stand with you. I stand with you in solidarity.
YOU are strong, even on nights when you feel weak.
You are worth so much, even when your thoughts tell you otherwise.
YOU are loved, even when it doesn't seem like it.
YOU have the support of loved ones, even if you haven't met them yet.
YOU are a fighter, even when you are afraid.
YOU are a light, even when you are surrounded by darkness.
In case no one has told you, it wasn't your fault. You never deserved to be exploited and abused.
