“Without a struggle, there can be no progress.” -Frederick Douglass

Last semester, I had the privilege of studying in Germany for four months. After my program had finished, as soon as I returned to America, the questions came flooding in. “How was it?”; “Did you ever get lost?”; “Did you enjoy it?”; “Where was your favorite place that you visited?”. However, I realized that no matter how many times I answer the same questions, I can’t seem to find the words to explain the change, within myself, that occurred while I was abroad. I explain my study abroad experience as one of the hardest, most exciting, exotic, and thrilling things I think I will ever do in my lifetime. I know what you’re thinking. Scratch the thought of skydiving…I’m terrified of heights. The beautiful part of it all is that my study abroad experience was more than learning about German history, culture, and architecture. If anything, I learned more about myself than anything else on that trip.

My study abroad, in Germany, taught me to embrace who I am and live my life full-force. When you’re living in a foreign country, surrounded by languages, foods, and people you are unfamiliar with, you find out what you’re made of. Study abroad taught me to trust in my own abilities, and let myself have fun, no matter how ridiculous I may have seemed when I was doing it. I could wear whatever I wanted and I knew that in a few months I would probably never see the same people again. Except for my host-family and friends, of course. In America, I became so fixated with what people thought of me, and how I looked. Being abroad helped me realize just how much those images and ideas molded my everyday life.

While on the bus, I could hear people talking, but I never knew what they were saying. Whether they were actually talking about me or not, I will never know. But it was such a liberating feeling to know that I could fully accept myself and be okay with who I am and what I was wearing. Even if I wanted to be concerned with what others were saying about me, I couldn’t be. I know it may sound small, but concerning myself with how others perceive me has been an issue I’ve been dealing with for many years.

There were countless times when I got lost, didn’t have phone service, and had to find my way around the old-fashioned way. Maps, Google translate, and getting even more lost were some of these “old-fashioned” ways. Most of the time my friends and I weren’t able to completely translate the menus, so we would pick and choose words that we did know and just order base off of those few words The motto for our study abroad was “well…we’ll see.” Terrifying and hilarious all at the same time. Many of us did not have dryers and had to wait days for a load of our laundry to be complete. We quickly learned that finding public and free bathrooms or Wi-Fi was few and far between. Much like Frederick Douglass once said, without struggle, there is no progress. Leaving America, my parents, my family, and my “norm,” was definitely a struggle. I was so accustomed to my schedule, my school, my friends, and my home, that dealing with homesickness and culture shock were extremely difficult to overcome.

However, looking back on my struggles, I can truly say that I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to study abroad. The timing of my trip could not have been better. I was in a very difficult time in my life. I was scared to let go of my past and never would have thought that I would be able to express self-love. I learned to trust in myself and put myself first, at all times. I started doing things I wanted to do when I wanted to do them. I stopped relying on others for my happiness or their approval. I jumped at once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and met some incredible people along the way. I learned what I liked, what I didn’t like, who I liked, and quite frankly…who I didn’t like. After all had been set and done, I understood that if I could conquer study abroad…I could conquer anything life would throw my way. Coming from someone who constantly lived in fear, I stopped existing and started living. Thanks to study abroad, I am forever changed.