As a child, I cried. A lot. I was glued to my mother’s hip, and when separated, I cried myself a sea of tears. If I hurt someone’s feelings, I cried. When someone was mean to me, I came home in tears. My parents had to put me on a leash, because I would hug random strangers in the super market. I had a lot of feelings, mostly love. I was described as the “sensitive” one, and as I grew older, I began to affiliate that with weakness, and thought that my sensitive trait, was a bad one. I didn’t let myself feel my emotions, good or bad. I held in my pain and didn’t let myself experience joy. I became a hollow shell, because I was too afraid that my emotions were a sign of weakness, and I had to be strong. When I felt any type of emotion, I just held it inside.
It took me years to unlearn that being sensitive was a bad thing. Instead, it was a good trait to have, I just had to learn how to love my sensitive side. I know that I feel things too deeply. I blame it on the fact that my astrology sign is Cancer. I feel emotion to the extremes. When I feel joy, it ignites every inch of my body. When I feel sadness, the deepest corners of my mind turn into the darkest shades of blue. I cry at everything, from cute dog commercials to the pain of others. People have tried to take that away from me, my ability to feel so deeply. By trying to undermine my feelings, and by telling me that I get too worked up about everything.
But this is a part of me, and I’ve decided to not let anyone take that away from me. Not letting myself feel emotion left me cold, and unable to share anything with others. Not only was I numb of the bad things, but I was numb to all of the good things, too. The process of letting myself feel again was one of the most painful things I have experienced. For many years I had bottled up every single thing I’ve ever felt, and to sit there, in all of my pain, felt like I was drowning. I had to talk about my pain, but I began to be able to share my joys. I began to feel understood, and felt weights lifted off of my lungs as I shared my struggles and my pain. I could breathe again. I cried, I laughed, and I began to heal. The walls that I build around my sensitive heart began to come down, and it was a beautiful thing to see. I learned how to feel my pain and how to cope with it. I learned how to be vulnerable again.
If you’re a person who feels too deeply, don’t attribute that to weakness. It is your strength. With your ability to feel emotion so deeply, it gives you an ability to connect with others who are going through a hard time. You can sit down, and feel their pain. You are better to understand sorrows of others, and you can grieve with them. It gives you the ability to empathize with other people, which can help you heal from your struggles, too.
Emotions are what make humans, human. Emotions are meant to be felt, and not shoved in a closet with everything else we have hanging in there. They are meant to be expressed, and dealt with. To be able to express that emotion, is beautiful. Do not let this world make you hard. Having a soft heart is what makes you, you. Put it to good use. Listen, love, and care; deeply. Take a step back from situations that drain you, and take care of yourself. Use your soft heart to heal those who have hearts of stone. Cry with others, laugh until your lungs feel like they are going to explode. Feeling everything so deeply helps you to appreciate the good times during the bad times. So do not let those who don’t understand our soft hearts make you cold. Use this as your strength, and go heal the world with your soft heart.
“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.” – Zooey Deschanel
