One of the biggest lessons I’ve come to learn in life is that everyone loves differently. In fact, there have been studies done that show that, in general, everyone loves with a primary “love language.” The five love languages are: gifts, acts of service, physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation. Once you’re aware of this, it’s pretty clear who loves with what language. Some people show their love by giving gifts, others with a hug or running errands for a loved one.
However, what isn’t covered in these basic love languages, and what I find myself often grappling with is being a person that loves “too hard.” Be it my friends or someone I’m in a relationship with that I care about, once I love someone, I am fully committed and passionate. I am the type of friend who will drop anything if my friends need me, and I constantly remind those close to me that I love them and that they’re important to me. While I’d call this affirmation, some people find it overwhelming. The way I love doesn’t make sense to them, whereas in my eyes, that’s how love presents itself.
The idea I’d like to eliminate is that one type of love is “too” much over another. Sure, it’s one thing if the other person doesn’t feel the same way, but just because someone feels deeply for the people they care about doesn’t mean it should be reigned in. Sadly, I’ve come to find that often the people who love with their whole hearts get hurt most easily.
I think this is probably because we are willing to completely commit ourselves. We are happy to jump into the feeling of love, because it makes us feel happy and fulfilled. Others, though, don’t always accept that love as readily and are sometimes scared away, which leaves us feeling deserted and hurt. After we attach ourselves to someone, it is devastating to lose them, or to find that that love is not returned.
To the person who loves “too hard,” your care and passion are beautiful things. As hard as it is sometimes, please keep loving others the way that you do. If someone rejects your love, that doesn't make you any less valid or important. Even though some people might not show it, others often need the love you are so freely willing to give. The most important thing is to channel that love into an outlet in which it will be returned, be it in another person, or even a job. Remember that ultimately, love and compassion are the sentiments that change people’s lives for the better, and without them, positivity and growth are impossible. If someone doesn’t want it, there absolutely will be someone in the future who not only does, but will also give it back to you.
