Starting college, it seemed like everyone's main worry was surviving outside the swaddling comfort of their hometown. It seemed that everyone had lived in the same house their entire lives, met their lifelong best friends in utero, and had never left home longer than summer vacation.
This was not me.
I grew up moving around the country and identified as the perpetual new girl.
It was an isolating experience. Even social media and technology that makes staying in touch easier cannot replace showing face every day, and I knew with every move I was bound to lose more and more friends.
I was thrilled for college. I could stay in the same place for four whole years. I excel at meeting new people but, for once, dozens of kids I hadn't actually met wouldn't already know my name and recognize me as the new kid.
What I was not expecting was the realization many more kids grew up in my situation than I ever imagined.
Some lived all around America, spending an even amount of years in each state. Some moved across country borders, overcoming language barriers. Others can define a clear physical home for themselves, but their families don't live there anymore. Maybe their parents moved away at the same time they began college. Maybe the whole family moved just once in their final years of high school.
Although, each exact path is unique, here's what we share:
1. Dreading introductions that include hometowns
If we stick to one answer, a die-hard native will expose us as frauds for missing half of their region-specific references. If we offer any more detail, someone is bound to ask us to list every place we've ever lived. We have no desire to recount the saga of our lives to a total stranger who will zone out half way through.
We actually might have met your second cousin, that name does sound familiar. And no, we don't really have a favorite place. (Although we probably do have a least favorite.)
2. A long list of once-upon-a-time best friends
We're experts at maintain the relationships that are important to us. We understand the degree of mutual effort necessary to keep long-distance friendships alive. As a result we are masters at juggling friendships in various degrees of regular contact. We also have a strong sense of which friendships will and won't survive the distance before we've even left. Unfortunately, this includes letting go of many friendships.
3. The thrill of visiting old friends
Nothing feels better than seeing old friends after years apart and acting like nothing has changed. This is honestly the best gift we could ever ask for because we realize how rare it truly is. Usually we can only visit once a year at most, but we continue to make the effort when we know we've got good people reciprocating.
Also, it's fun to revisit old hangouts, but under absolutely no circumstances do we want to drive by our old houses. Seriously. Don't do it.
4. We're insanely close with our parents
My parents knew many details about my life because they were a constant through it all.
5. Our siblings are our best friends on a whole new level
Because who else would understand how much a guy in my physics class looks EXACTLY like the love child of Clifford-from-Carolina and Bea-from-Ohio with the same voice as Mara-from-Arizona and Margo-from-Florida's personality?
6. "Xx moves ago" is a legitimate measure of time
"I learned that three schools ago."
"We had a porch like that four houses ago."
It's like years, but easier to tell apart.
7. You swear you've met multiple sets of doppelgangers
It doesn't even phase you anymore. No need to risk mixing up names. Instead, just make eye contact and start talking.
Also, nothing annoys your more than kids who act like their existence is God's gift.
8. You can pack everything you own with 24-hours notice
Bonus points if you reuse the same pre-labeled boxes.
9. You went through a phase where you intentionally did not make friends
It's some strange attempt to spare yourself the pain of leaving them all over again. However, you knew were miserable this way, so you tried twice as hard at the next place.
10. You're thankful for your bizarre childhood
You matured quickly and learned to look out for yourself. You are comfortable alone and define yourself internally instead of depending on others to label you.
Also, you maximize the limited time that you get with each person. You have a
unique understanding of the commonalities between cultures, and you're
skilled at connecting with many different kinds of people. Moving seems hard at the time, but it really does pay off.
Most importantly, there are a lot more kids in this situation then we ever realized when we were young. The older we get, the more we appreciate the whole messy experience.
