For the girl who can’t say no...
It happened late one night when it was just me and him. He always said all of the right things. He seemed like he was the perfect guy. I thought he would never hurt me and even though I wanted to, I could not say no.
I asked him to stop but he did not listen. When things went too far, I could not say no. I could not say no but I did not say yes. Then it was over. He had gotten what he wanted from me and was gone.
This is the story of almost every other woman you talk to and it is now part of my story. When did we start valuing our own selfish desires above respecting another human being?
1 out of every 6 women will be a victim of sexual violence in her lifetime. I have six women in my family, that means one of us will be a victim of sexual violence in our lifetime if it has not happened already.
We should not be afraid to walk alone. We should not be afraid of becoming another victim. We should not be afraid to live our lives with one another. We have created this culture and if we do not like it, then we can change it.
Women, respect yourself enough to find someone that will respect you too. Men, you are not the problem just because you are a man, so be a part of the solution. As for all of us, we have a voice and we should use it. Stand up for the victim, speak up and be brave. Use your experiences to empower others and start to turn your pain into your greatest strength.
To the girl that could not say no...
Just because you could not say no does not mean it is your fault. It does not mean that you wanted it to happen. It was not just a miscommunication. What happened to you is not ok.
Just because you were dating that person does not mean you wanted it to happen. Do not let someone use your emotions to get something from you. If they care about you in any way, they should respect your body and your emotions without expecting anything in return.
“Just because” is not an excuse.
If you have been disrespected, if you have been abused, if you have been sexually assaulted, if you have been raped, I want you to know how truly sorry I am that we have allowed our culture to come to this. I want you to know that you did nothing to deserve this. I want you to know that you are not the problem and I want you to know that it was not because you could not say no.
