Tell me if I'm wrong, but it seems like nowadays that most students, who are either going to college or are already in college, find themselves stuck at some point. As if college isn't where they are supposed to be or where their heart feels drawn to, but they are just there because it's the "normal" thing to do. It is what every one of their friends are doing or it is that their parents want them to.
Let me be really honest when I say that situation is where I am currently stuck at.
Let me also be really honest when I say it sucks. Especially when you see everyone else around you thriving in college, yet there you are feeling out of place. Like you are doing college wrong or something. It's not a very satisfying feeling when you feel like an outsider.
I went into my freshman year thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was going to be an Education major, start my classes, love every second and everything was going to be perfect. Now that I think about it, the Lord was probably laughing when I thought that because He was probably sitting there thinking, "Just you wait."
And then came the full 360 of my heart.
Beginning of my this new semester, He began turning His desires He had put on my heart years ago, into reality. Desires that I never thought were possible, became possible. And within days, everything that I thought I wanted previously, it seemed I didn't want anymore. Which if we are being really truthful here, confused and scared the crap out of me.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a hardcore love/hate relationship with being out of comfort zone. I could physically feel the Lord stirring my heart in a different direction than I was previously going.
It was a feeling of being on your toes, like adrenaline constantly running through your body.
Recently, I've been feeling a tug on my heart away from my university. Which is a terrifying thought, because college is what feels normal to me. My desires are now focusing on a career in ministry, which could entail continuing in a typical college setting or maybe not. Like I said, still processing all of this.
At this moment, that is when I realized that this was the part that I find out who the Lord has really called me to be.
So, long story short, to those who are maybe in this same situation as me, where the Lord is calling you somewhere of a different direction, chase after it. If it truly is of God, He is going to keep pursuing you and shaping your heart toward that area. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.
Feeling uncomfortable or scared doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. It means you're about to do something really, really brave.
Making a big life change is pretty terrifying if you ask me. But there is one thing scarier to me- regret. Make your life not about achieving a certain list of things, but by bringing glory to the Father with whatever doors He opens.
"You get a strange feeling when you are about to leave a place.. like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way ever again". -Azar Nafisi
