A few days ago I was laying in my bed playing games on my phone. The internet in my dorm building was not working and so I had to entertain myself somehow. It was around 10 p.m in London and I was starting to unwind. I receive a text from my mom saying "hey I just tried to call you on messenger". I explain that the internet is not working and that I cannot receive a call through Facebook. And then came the text informing me that my grandfather had passed away at 2 a.m that morning.
To be 100 percent honest, I had a feeling it was coming. I knew he had recently become increasingly ill and when I found that out, I just had a bad feeling. So when I got the text, I was not too surprised but I was still in shock. I read the text at least five times and then I told my mom I was going to walk to the main building where there is internet. I rush over there and call my mom. The connection is horrible (what else is new) and then I finally get a hold of her.
I listen to her explain some things and then came the tears. I was doing okay until I asked to talk to my grandmother. That was when my tears started flowing. I know she is strong but at the same time, I know what she is actually thinking and that she is sad. I wish I could give her a hug but that is somewhat difficult when you are 3,500 miles away.
But now for my grandfather. I am so sorry that I could not say goodbye. I am sorry that I made the decision to come over to London and that it affected me saying goodbye. I did not see you all summer and mom asked me if I wanted to say goodbye. But I could not bring myself to see you suffering. I know that you are proud of me for going to college and coming to study abroad. But I wish I could have just said one last goodbye.
You were one of the smartest people I knew. And without you, I would not be here and neither would the rest of my family. You were funny in your own way and everyone loved that about you. And even though you were stubborn, everyone still was there for you when you needed it. Everyone in this family loved you.
I guess your time was up. As they say, all good things must come to an end. You lived a good life and raised four great people including my mom. Thank you for making a lot of things possible for them. I know that this is probably a lot harder on them because you are their father. I do not know what that feels like, to lose a parent but I know it cannot be easy. I am sorry I cannot be there for them either.
I hope that you are a lot happier in heaven. But just know that everyone down here on Earth misses you already.
We love you.
Love,
Your Grandaughter
