For siblings, initial links and bonds come in the form of shared parents in shared homes creating shared memories. For siblings of broken homes the links and bonds are there, but maybe the memories all happen on weekends in a house that doesn't really feel like home. For siblings with one shared absentee father, there are no natural bonds or chances to meet and form these memories.

So, to the baby brother, I never got the chance to know I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that there's no familiarity between us. To the baby brother who I hear loves football and plays well, I'm sorry I've never cheered you on or seen you play once. I'm sorry we've never had a fight or celebrated a birthday together. To the baby brother, I cannot picture, I hope you've grown well these past 19 years.

To my brother, do you wonder if our features are similar? If we share traits or mannerisms that must be innate? Although I've never known you, I wish that DNA has taken care of part of it and made us similar in simple ways. Ways that we aren't even aware of. I hope that maybe your eyes are as big as mine, nose as wide, hair as kinky.

I hope one day if you passed me on the street something in our DNA will make you seem strangely, vaguely familiar.

To the father we share but do not know well I wonder if you notice our absence. In the ways that our mothers worry and call, I wonder if you check the news periodically to see if our names appear. I wonder if as years pass by will you marvel (like I do) at the fact that you don't know your own children.

Do you wonder like I do who your children might have become if influenced by your presence? Do you marvel at how we've grown despite your absence? Do you ever silently thank our mothers for doing the job of two parents?

To my brother and father, these are my musings. My hope is to not wonder for the rest of my life.