Every time I take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, I have a different result. My E/I preferences are always extremely close to 50 percent, though. Usually, about 55 percent extroverted.
The question that people typically ask to diagnose one as an extrovert or introvert is, "After a long week, would you rather go to a big party and be around a lot of people or stay at home and have a quiet night in?"
"Is both an option?" is my usual response. I enjoy being around people and don't mind being in large groups for a long time, but if I don't get any alone time, I feel exhausted. Conversely, I enjoy being by myself and doing quieter activities alone, but if I don't have any time with other people, I feel exhausted.
It wasn't until this year that someone introduced me to the term "ambivert". An ambivert is someone who displays qualities of both extroverts and introverts but is neither. Finally, I have a response when someone asks me if I'm an extrovert or an introvert.
For those of you who have never heard this term, let me clarify what it means through personal experience. I can only speak for myself, but from talking to other ambiverts, my experience is fairly typical.
I don't always know when I'm going to be in the mood to be alone. Some Friday nights spent alone watching a movie are the best part of my week. Other times, I'm antsy and restless and just want to be around other people.
This can be tricky when navigating life. It means that sometimes I schedule something to do or commit to going somewhere, and when the time rolls around, I want nothing more than to be alone. This doesn't mean I don't want to do whatever I had planned to do; it just means I'm tired and at that moment, I need to recharge alone.
Other times, I plan to spend time alone. Reading, crafting, and Netflixing are some of my favorite activities, but sometimes after a few minutes, I realize that all I want to do is be surrounded by other people. I can't focus on what I am doing, and I feel restless until I find someone to hang out with.
Some people who read this will be confused. For people who are extremely extroverted or introverted, it makes sense to want to be around people or alone to recharge and doing the opposite almost scares them. For others, this will make perfect sense.
Thankfully, I've been able to figure myself out. To any ambiverts who struggle with knowing what will make you feel like you can rest and recharge, here is my favorite way:
I like to do activities with one other person that don't necessarily require us interacting with each other the whole time. I have a friend who I get together with to just silently read for an hour each week. This is a restorative hour for me. This Saturday night, I spent the night water coloring with another friend. We would chat for a few minutes and then find ourselves lost in watercoloring. I also like to watch movies with people.
These activities help me satiate my conflicting desires to be with others and not interact with other people. And while extroverts and introverts may not understand quite how this works, you can be a good friend to both because you understand what each one feels like.
Being an ambivert can be hard to explain or hard to even understand for yourself, and it sure makes taking the MBTI test difficult, but it's who I am. Now that I'm able to acknowledge that I have qualities of both extroverts and introverts, I'm able to figure out what the best way for me to recharge and rest is.
