College is difficult in ways that I never expected but could’ve clearly seen coming. Going to a great school and being apart of a difficult major has taught me so much more than the curriculum ever could. I’ve learned such an important life lesson: how to cope when people are better than you, always. Instead of letting that defeat us, what if we let this reality give us perspective?
I should’ve known going off to school that people were going be better than me, which I did to an extent. But I was like so many of us: I was used to school coming easily to me. I was not prepared for the feeling of consistent disappointment in my grades as compared to my peers and how this would affect my self-confidence.
I’ve been lucky enough to have found a friend group within my major of some very intelligent people. They are all in the honor society and already accepted into most of the prestigious graduate schools they applied to. They work hard, but no harder than I.
I owe them a huge thank you because of the struggle it has been to constantly get lower grades than them. But I am a stronger and more aware person because of it. After seven semesters I’ve finally figured out that they are smart, I am not dumb, and we are all privileged.
We seem to wrap ourselves up in the thought that grades define how well we are doing in college, which is false. We also seem to get a sense of false defeat if we aren’t doing as well as our peers. We seem to forget that this opportunity to learn at this level is a privilege and that the subjective numbers only matter for a hot minute.
It is important for those of us who feel second-rate to realize that letter grades are only a representation of how well you are able to regurgitate material back to your professor, usually in multiple-choice format. This is not to take away from what the 4.0er’s do, because having grades that high is not just because you’re a good “regurgitator” but because most of you work extremely hard, don’t get me wrong. I am simply saying, for those of us who do work that hard and still leave classes with mediocre grades on this arbitrary scale, we are not dumb.
In fact, I believe that we B/C students are even more prepared for the real world after leaving college because we know what its like to struggle. For over four years we worked and worked only to be met with disappointing results, and that is so much more realistic than always getting great results.
If you have thought to yourself, “All my friends are smarter than me, they all make better grades and I clearly just don’t have the gift like they do,” then listen here: you need to learn quickly to quit comparing your grades with those around you and be proud of yourself, no matter what the paper says. Embrace your ability to even learn.
The fact of the matter is that as students enrolled in higher education, we are fortunate. Only about eight percent of the world has the opportunity to do what we are doing, and that alone is reason to celebrate through the B’s, the C’s and even the D’s.
I challenge you the next time you find yourself glancing at your neighbor's test to secretly compare grades only to be disappointed for the millionth time because yours is lower, to remember all the smart teenagers out there who will never have the opportunity to learn in the setting you are in. Think about how happy, how proud of themselves, and how grateful they would be to get that 68 on a business law exam that all your friends made 90s on. It’s about perspective.
Gain the perspective, be proud of yourself, and continue to work hard. You are not defined by the grades you make, so don’t let the grades take away one ounce of your self-confidence. You are blessed to be in the seat you sit in and your friends are too. They’re brain may work a little bit faster, but your heart will be a little bit bigger and stronger because of your struggle.
P.S. If you aren’t applying yourself and make mediocre grades, this isn’t affirmation that B’s & C’s are OK. Get to work.
