Opa,
Almost 20 years.
It hit me like a brick wall today as I fussed with the final details of this article in preparation for writing it. That's how long it's been, isn't it? Almost 20 years now that we've taken on this world together. Nearly two decades of siblinghood, of family and feuding and new experiences and unknowns. Of some crazy stuff. And probably much stronger words than stuff.
It is just way too easy to tell you that words fail me as I try to type out a thank you or something that'll cover the bases of literally my entire life up to this point. I don't know how to stop at filling only a page or two with gratitude both to you and to God for blessing me with so amazing a brother. Truly. You have no idea the impact you've had on me as I've watched you live so boldly, not a hint of fear chasing you away or doubt holding you down. I honestly hope you know that I would not be here had it not been for you.
So, with all of that being said, in honor of your 21st birthday, here is your little sister fessing up to just a handful of experiences from almost 20 years' worth of ways you've inspired me.
Do you remember when it was just the two of us, chasing each other around the house we grew up in, racing across the street to see our neighbors, making cookies with the lady down the street who babysat us, occasionally getting to play Super Smash Bros Melee on the Gamecube with Ali and Brian? You were, in all honesty, the person in my life who first taught me how to make friends. I mean, you were and are and always have been so incredibly confident and capable. I just watched how you marched up to others and prayed that I'd be able to do the same as I tagged along.
When we were in school together, sports were such a massively impactful part of your life, I found them catching my eye. Heh, now, of course, it's not hard to guess that I've never exactly been the "athletic" type…but you? I've been fairly convinced for years that there's very little you can't do, athletically and otherwise. And I'm just about certain that I have never been prouder than I was and am watching you absolutely shine in whatever sports situation God decides to throw you. You braved heat and sweat and broken bones in order to live out your passions! And I wanted to be just like you.
Confession time: the reason why I joined the track team in seventh grade was because I wanted to make you proud. I wanted to show my incredible older brother that I could follow in his footsteps and that I wanted to shine like he did. That's how I've always felt. With your words and your actions, you've always pushed me towards the best version of myself, even when I thought I couldn't push any further. I could never possibly thank you enough for that.
I can't imagine how boring it must have been for you to sit through my theater performances. They just so happen to be my passion, but I know they're not exactly your cup of tea. And yet, there you were, every time I had a performance of any kind. There you were out in the crowd, no matter what the subject matter was you were watching or how big a part I had to play, and there I'd be backstage, excitedly whispering to my friends that I'd seen my big brother in the audience and hoped tonight would be the best one yet so you could see. You watched every bit of it, then immediately found me afterward to congratulate me on it all. You've gone out of your way to support me for longer than I can remember. No matter what it was that I got my heart set on, you stood by my side and stayed there. Through thick and thin. And that is what has pushed me to achieve, to do everything I possibly could to test my limits and burst through them so that the next time you watched, I'd be better. Yet I still know that if I fall, you'll be there to catch me.
I was ridiculously nervous to go to college. Ridiculously. I had no idea what to expect there! What was my awkward teenage self-supposed to say when trying to make friends? When faced with new opportunities I didn't know if I could handle? When thrown into social situations I wasn't the least bit socially qualified to handle? Well, I found out pretty quickly that the answer to that was to call you. I have admired and been inspired by the charisma you have my entire life. You know how to work with people, how to fiercely be there for others, how to gain respect, how to talk your way towards the best side of even the worst situations. You're amazing, and if I had even a fraction of the sociability and charm you live and breathe, I'd be utterly ecstatic.
But it's not just your way with words and with others that strikes a chord. It's the way that you're there for me, even when I have only trivial questions or random comments to offer you. You are never annoyed when I come to you asking for advice - you listen to all that I have to say and offer the best of what you can give me in return. You even share with me what's going on in your life, and take little moments so that we can just talk. You've gone through what I'm going through, you've been where I am, and you constantly have my back, guiding me on how I can move forward. Thank you, so, so much.
There is so much more I could and would love to say, and I'm going to try and keep telling you as our time together goes on. But for now, I'll simply say this. Thank you to the best brother in the world. Thank you to the guy who continuously inspires me with everything he says and does. Thank you to the person I look up to, the person who keeps me going. Thank you to my first friend and my confidant. Thank you, so, so much. I am so endlessly proud of you, and I cannot wait to see what's in store for you, now and always.
21 looks good on you, Opa.
Love,
Anna
