We’ve all had those days. The ones were we wake-up mid-afternoon in our outfit from last night, make-up fully on, and a newly shattered phone screen that contains full documentation of all those texts to your ex you hoped you did not actually send. As you throw down three or probably seven aspirin, you moan that you will never — EVER — drink again. Yet one thing can help you out of this hangover nightmare… food. No matter what scientists say, these foods are guaranteed to make the “I’m-actually-going-to-die” hangover slightly less miserable.
Pancakes.
Whether the Eggo kind heated up or from your friendly neighborhood Waffle House, pancakes are like a sponge for your stomach. Absorbing all the Taaka and tequila shots from last night, it will also soak up all of your self-hatred and vague memories of singing “I Will Always Love You” to that random guy in the bar. Pour syrup, devour and repeat.
Pizza.
Honestly, it’s probably the same pizza that you ordered at 3 a.m. last night and then promptly passed out on. Pizza simply makes life better, and you can’t help but smile when you chew down on the beautiful combination of bread, cheese and special toppings. Bonus points for those who lay two pieces on top of each other and chomp down on it, you more than likely made a new best friend in the bathroom last night.
Burger.
Hopefully, the burger includes a pool of grease and a side of fries. Nothing screams America dream like rolling into your favorite burger joint in your pajamas and ordering a double patty burger with a large side of fries. Your hangover will fade away in the midst of the salty fries and melted cheese. If you are lucky, you could slip into a food coma and not wake up until every trace of the previous night is long gone — including your bruises from falling of the bar stool mid-twerk.
Breakfast Burrito.
Filled with eggs, bacon, cheese, potatoes, guacamole, and, of course, salsa, the breakfast burrito is like the white knight of your hangover. It is the perfect meal to comfort you in your bed and watch 10-hours of Netflix straight with you. The possibilities of ingredients are endless, as long you can roll it up into a warm tortilla blanket. It might even give you the confidence to call you mom and explain that the $100 charge on your credit card at “On the Rocks” is for your textbooks.
So cheers to the freakin’ weekend, and drink to a week of completed tests, papers, labs, internship applications, and interviews for study abroad programs. You made it through another week and deserve to celebrate. And the next day you can cheers to you hangover with enough grease, salt, and bread to feed a small country.
