All too often, I watch girls fall into the apparently quite enticing trap of following their boyfriends to college. I almost always condemn this decision. College is an experience you have worked your entire educational career toward; why should a boy you met last year dictate where you end up? "But we're in love!" Yes, I know, but that is not a good enough reason.
College is an individual experience. I believe it is almost better to go somewhere where you have no ties, no one to hold you down to the person you were in high school, and no safety net of familiarity to fall back into when the going gets tough. If you go to a college simply because your boyfriend chose to go there, you completely miss this enlightening experience. Instead of being free, your need to be physically together could possibly stunt both of your growths. When choosing to follow your boyfriend to a college that is not your own dream school, you rank your relationship higher in importance than your own education, which seems ridiculous, as college is, essentially, about quality education.
When your reason for attending a specific college lies in one fickle, emotional human being, you are doing yourself and your education a disservice, as you are not going to grow into the person you deserve to be. Instead of putting yourself out there and joining new clubs, you might fall back into the comfort of your boyfriends' arms, isolating yourself socially and mentally. You could view his constant presence as a safe embrace while I view him as binding your wings. His perceptions of you could prevent you from pursuing new opportunities that do not align with the "old you." A relationship should support growth from both sides, not hinder it. While I am not saying this is always the case, I consider it a distinct possibility in this situation.
For those of you who think you have to go to college together to keep the relationship alive, realize that that relationship is not worth it if it cannot survive a few hundred miles apart. If your relationship cannot survive the difficulties of long distance, it is not worth risking the education of a lifetime for. If your relationship cannot survive without your constant physical presence of each other, it would not stand the tolls of marriage - with traveling, long hours of work and children. In my opinion, if done correctly, a long distance relationship is the true test of a viable relationship. It demonstrates loyalty, patience, and unwavering dedication. Distance truly can make the heart grow stronger, and if the distance results in heartbreak, it was honestly for the better, because that relationship was not having any happy endings after college.
College is life changing. Where you go and who you meet can shape your entire future. Don't let yourself be held back by the allure of a relationship that most likely, will not stand the test of time. If he cannot respect you making this decision for yourself, he is most definitely not the one. (He also does not seem mature enough to go to college, but oh well).
Additionally, college is a time to be selfish, so do it. You deserve it. Pick a college where you want to go, and where all your hard work will pay off with the reward of a great education. Do not factor your boyfriend into this decision, at all. If he is in it for the long run, he can survive a few months apart between school breaks. If you both happen to have the same dream school and get in, go for it — but remember, do it for yourself, your dreams, and your personal future, not for your relationship.
