I can remember exactly what I was doing the day I fell and cut my head open, where I was and who I was with. I try to forget the horrible test I took and why my grades were so bad last year. It is easy to remember the bad things that have happened to me. However, when I try to remember all the good that is around me, it is harder. This then begs the question, why do we focus more on the good than the bad?
Focusing on horrible parts in our lives is common because we are constantly told that we need to be a certain way. After years of being told we have to be better, making a mistake once can have a huge impact. We are so focused on being "better" that we constantly focus on the bad that we have done and not the good.
This kind of thinking is not healthy. Looking at yourself and only seeing the bad can make you miserable. You will lose confidence in your ability to do anything, a wave of self judgement will rain down and you will think everyone else sees the all "horribleness."
Stop focusing on the bad and start focusing on why you are important and why looking at everything in a positive light is the best way to live. Only thinking negatively hurts you as an individual and those you love. The negative aspects in your life are not as bad as they may seem. They only appear as horrible because society says acting a certain way is "bad" "weird" or "different." Being different isn't a bad thing, but it has gained a negative connotation. As a male I am supposed to be strong, tall, smart, smooth, manly and funny. This is supposed to be the perfect guy; that is literally the exact definition of Ryan Gosling in "Crazy Stupid Love." Girls are also supposed to act and look a certain way. Due to these ludicrous "requirements," if a person is any different, then they are inadequate.
It's sad to see because so many people feel insecure due to parts of their life that aren't how they want them to be. They then begin to focus on that one aspect of their life, thinking it defines who they are until it eats away at them. Just because you are not as pretty or buff as you are "supposed to be," do not have good enough grades or do not know what you want to do in your life, does not mean anything.
Not having materialistic objects or being inadequate does not define your character or how good a life you have.
The poorest man can be the richest if he thinks he is. It is all about perspective. If you go through life thinking things around you are bad, then your life will be horrible; there is no denying that.
There is a positive to everything if you make it into one. It may sound a little ridiculous, but while watching the show "Parks and Rec." I began to realize why I love Rob Lowe's character, Chris. Chris is the most positive guy and loves life. He is thankful for everything he has and even when he recognizes something is bad he also recognizes why it can be good. I understand this is a character on a show but the message is the same.
You decide what you think of yourself, no one else does. It is your responsibility to control how you feel about any situation -- no one else has control over your feelings. If you tell yourself that you are good enough for what you want, then that is all that matters. If you are in a bad situation, then you have two ways to act. 1.) you can decide that it is a crappy situation and leave it at that or 2.) you can look at the positives of it.
Most people would not assume rap artists are influential. However, a verse from Big Sean's song, "Nothing is Stopping You," puts how to live in such a simple way. He says:
"Focus shifting the negative energy, into something positive.
And the easiest way to do that, is to be grateful for all the things that you do have,
For your health, for your family, your friends, all the people that care about you.
You've got food to eat, you've got a place to stay.
Ugh you know, let's feel good, let's get happy."
Throughout my life I have realized what it is like if you look at every bad situation as just that. So what if you get a bad grade; study harder next time. It doesn't matter if your best ins't good enough, you will always have tomorrow to make it even better. If your relationship fails it doesn't mean your life is over, it just means you now know what kind of person you want to let into your life next time.
The most positive things in life can come from the most negative.
