As we dropped the body into the ground, immediately it hit me: I should have said, “I love you,” more. I should have shown more gratitude. But now the body is covered in dirt, six feet under the ground, and I’m still covered in regret.
Many of us have lost people, whether emotionally or physically, we never imagined we would lose. Their absence causes our hearts to ache on a daily basis. We see something that reminds us of them, and it’s almost like we lost them all over again. The deep pain of a loss affects us in ways our body is not used to. Depression, isolation, and anxiety are only a few of the reactions we may have after a significant loss.
Unfortunately, the most prominent reaction to loss is regret. Anne Frank once said, “Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones, because regret is stronger than gratitude.” Let those words sink in. Think of your parents, your siblings, your grandparents. How many times have you given them flowers? How many times have you expressed your gratitude for them and all they do for you? How many times have you thanked them for the tremendous sacrifices they’ve made for you? If I were to take a guess, I would say you could count all of the times on one hand, maybe two.
As a whole, we often take advantage of people who love us, especially those who have sacrificed so much for us. The people who have given up their lives to take care of yours are the very people we turn from. The people who stayed up with us when we were crying as children are the same people we yell at during our teenage years. The people who read us bedtime stories are the same people we get mad at when they try to get into our world. The people who sacrificed their time, job, workout program, etc. are the people who deserve all of our gratitude during their lifetime. They deserve the three minute phone call to say, “Thank you for all you did. I love you and I appreciate you.”
Nobody is perfect. Maybe people weren’t perfect in showing their love to you. Maybe they complained about the sacrifices they made for you. Maybe they questioned why they decided to care for you in the first place. Maybe they yelled at you or nagged you all of the time. All that matters is they tried. They did the best they could with what they had. They had things to do, yes, but you were always a priority.
It’s not easy to care for someone else, especially when you don’t feel appreciated. You question if what you do matters. You question if people appreciate anything you do. You wonder if people even notice -- trust me, they notice. But how do they know people notice? When people show gratitude towards them. It can be as simple as saying thank you, or putting flowers on the table to show them you’re thinking of them, you appreciate them, and you love them.
Life is so fragile. We live in a here-today-gone-tomorrow world. In this life, there are only two things promised: the time we have in this moment, and the inevitable death in the future. For some, we may live many more prosperous years full of love, children, and success. For others, we may live only a few more minutes. I challenge you to go out of your way every single day to show your gratitude for your loved ones. Just because they’re not diagnosed with a terminal illness, does not mean they will live through the night. Allow the harsh truth of death to radiate into your hearts and minds. I challenge you to show appreciation towards this life, and everyone you have in it. Every day show love, kindness, and gratitude towards the people in your life. Give flowers to those who are still alive, and don’t allow regret to kill the many joys of life.
