Now I know it's technically not Thanksgiving yet, but frankly, I'd rather do this earlier than later, so here it goes. As you all know, Thanksgiving is a time of togetherness and recollections of what you're most thankful for in life. There are way too many things that I'm thankful for, far too many to list on here, so I'll just list around five of them. That sound good to y'all? Okay then, here we go!

1. All of those Christmas-loving people out there that are so imbued with the spirit of the holiday that they feel inclined to decorate their homes, blast the music of the season, and break out the ugly sweaters and egg nog immediately after Halloween. I don't know about you guys, but that's the kind of dedication I wish I had!

2. Freedom of speech. Because how else can I go out into the public, smash cars, burn buildings and curb-stomp the mess out of people? As a red-blooded American man, my opinion matters, and I am so thankful that I have the ability to express it in any way that I please. And, of course, I'll take everyone else's opinions into account as well, after all, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't, so I will...just as long as none of them tries to oppose mine.

3. Speaking of freedom of speech, how about that media, y'all? It's fantastic, isn't it? Almost everything great that's ever happened has been told through it. What would life be like without all those Evil Kermit memes, Obama/Biden dialogues, acts of racism and violence that have been dolled up and twisted to fit some scumbag's personal agenda, Facebook friends going to war with each other because of their clashing political and religious views, and the always important kitten videos? I honestly can't get enough of that stuff!

4. All those kids out there that feel inclined to whine, shout, and even hit and insult their parents in public areas like supermarkets and movie theatres. It's parents like those that make me grateful for how I was raised and disciplined earlier in my life. And it's kids like theirs that make me thankful for the strength of my own self-control.

5. And finally, I'm thankful for all of the easily offended, because rather than simply saying that you disagree with something, you feel the need to tell other people--more often than not, complete strangers-- your entire life stories and THEN how and why something offended you. To open up to so many people like that usually implies a great amount of trust in others is present, which is something that I really admire. Not many people would normally put in so much effort to establish their trust in me, or faith that I'd actually put in the extra effort to care about what is being said. Such trust is hard to come by these days, so I'm just thankful that something like that can be shared with me too.

BONUS: All jokes aside, you guys, this Thanksgiving, let's just remember what's really important here. I'm sure we've all got our gripes and issues with all sorts of things that are happening in the world right now, but rather than complain about those things and potentially ruin somebody's day, focus on the things that could MAKE their day instead. Because, like I said before, that's what Thanksgiving is all about, togetherness, not separation. If we let all of these things break us apart, we'll end up hurting ourselves even more than we already have.