Five Things I Learned By Watching The Mummy

Five Things I Learned By Watching The Mummy

Or, Brendan Fraser Beats Up Everyone

Five Things I Learned By Watching The Mummy

So today I watched The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and wow was that movie a trip. The whole plot is Brendan Frazier beats up every man woman and child in sight until some loser summons a mummy for Brendan Fraser to beat up. The movie ends shortly after Brendan Fraser beats the mummy so hard that ghosts from the underworld take his spirit away and make him mortal. This time he dies for good until the Mummy Returns where Dwayne The Rock Johnson, AKA the only man who can beat up Brendan Fraser, shows up. It was a dumb movie that my girlfriend and I watched but it certainly taught me a lot. Here are five things I learned from watching The Mummy.

1: I will be single very soon

Upon finding out that Dwayne The Rock Johnson was in the Mummy series my girlfriend announced that she would be leaving me to pursue The Rock.I can't say I'm surprised by the news and I hope she does well with him. As sad as I am, I'm excited for the chance to maybe meet The Rock. I also might get to say that I dated someone The Rock married which will be a cool story when I'm alone at a bar someday

2: All Americans are from the south

There were a couple Americans in The Mummy and each one of them was a gun-toting cowboy who spoke almost exclusively in racial slurs. The second these men learned about treasure they rushed over with theirs pans to begin sifting for gold. Every single one of them died at the hands of the mummy leaving them the only people Brendan Fraser didn't beat up.

3: You shouldn't stack all your library shelves like dominoes

10 minutes into this movie the female lead (name forgotten because she wasn't Brendan Fraser) knocked over a bookshelf in the library she was working in. This one caused a chain reaction that knocked over every single shelf in the place. I cannot tell you why the owner of the library placed every bookshelf in a circular formation with each one slightly rotated instead of in two rows like any sane person but they did. Right after the shelves fell down the female lead (not Brendan Fraser) was told to clean them up and SOMEHOW managed to pick up every shelf and reorganize them within three hours of this event.

4: There is a book of death and a book of Super death

So in the movie there is the book of death which brings the mummy back to life and then there's the book that kills him. The book of death just appears to bring things back to life (except this power is totally useless because the mummy can just do this anyway) but the book of super death is where it gets interesting. The book of super death can control the undead and summon any ghost you want from the underworld to mess things up. Personally I think the book of death is cooler because I could use it to revive Brendan Fraser ‘a AND Nicholas Cage’s careers. I'm hoping they'll make a buddy cop movie where they steal the Declaration of Independence using mummies. Also in that movie The Rock is president. Tell me you wouldn't see that.

5: Scarabs eat flesh

This one isn't a joke it's just a really cool fact I learned during the movie. They are also the only thing Brendan Fraser can't beat up so if you're worried he’s going to come busting into your home fists blazing you might want to invest in scarab armor.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments