Five Things I Learned By Watching The Mummy
Start writing a post

Five Things I Learned By Watching The Mummy

Or, Brendan Fraser Beats Up Everyone

Five Things I Learned By Watching The Mummy

So today I watched The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and wow was that movie a trip. The whole plot is Brendan Frazier beats up every man woman and child in sight until some loser summons a mummy for Brendan Fraser to beat up. The movie ends shortly after Brendan Fraser beats the mummy so hard that ghosts from the underworld take his spirit away and make him mortal. This time he dies for good until the Mummy Returns where Dwayne The Rock Johnson, AKA the only man who can beat up Brendan Fraser, shows up. It was a dumb movie that my girlfriend and I watched but it certainly taught me a lot. Here are five things I learned from watching The Mummy.

1: I will be single very soon

Upon finding out that Dwayne The Rock Johnson was in the Mummy series my girlfriend announced that she would be leaving me to pursue The Rock.I can't say I'm surprised by the news and I hope she does well with him. As sad as I am, I'm excited for the chance to maybe meet The Rock. I also might get to say that I dated someone The Rock married which will be a cool story when I'm alone at a bar someday

2: All Americans are from the south

There were a couple Americans in The Mummy and each one of them was a gun-toting cowboy who spoke almost exclusively in racial slurs. The second these men learned about treasure they rushed over with theirs pans to begin sifting for gold. Every single one of them died at the hands of the mummy leaving them the only people Brendan Fraser didn't beat up.

3: You shouldn't stack all your library shelves like dominoes

10 minutes into this movie the female lead (name forgotten because she wasn't Brendan Fraser) knocked over a bookshelf in the library she was working in. This one caused a chain reaction that knocked over every single shelf in the place. I cannot tell you why the owner of the library placed every bookshelf in a circular formation with each one slightly rotated instead of in two rows like any sane person but they did. Right after the shelves fell down the female lead (not Brendan Fraser) was told to clean them up and SOMEHOW managed to pick up every shelf and reorganize them within three hours of this event.

4: There is a book of death and a book of Super death

So in the movie there is the book of death which brings the mummy back to life and then there's the book that kills him. The book of death just appears to bring things back to life (except this power is totally useless because the mummy can just do this anyway) but the book of super death is where it gets interesting. The book of super death can control the undead and summon any ghost you want from the underworld to mess things up. Personally I think the book of death is cooler because I could use it to revive Brendan Fraser ‘a AND Nicholas Cage’s careers. I'm hoping they'll make a buddy cop movie where they steal the Declaration of Independence using mummies. Also in that movie The Rock is president. Tell me you wouldn't see that.

5: Scarabs eat flesh

This one isn't a joke it's just a really cool fact I learned during the movie. They are also the only thing Brendan Fraser can't beat up so if you're worried he’s going to come busting into your home fists blazing you might want to invest in scarab armor.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

2026: the year the Fifa World Cup Returns to North America

For the first time since 1994 the United States will host a world cup (for men's soccer)

2026: the year the Fifa World Cup Returns to North America
Skylar Meyers

The FIFA World Cup is coming to North American in 2026!

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

An Open Letter to Winter

Before we know it April will arrive.


Dear Winter,

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

6 Questions To Ask Yourself When Cleaning Up Your Room

This holiday break is the perfect time to get away from the materialistic frenzy of the world and turn your room into a decluttered sanctuary.


Cleaning isn’t just for spring. In fact, I find school’s holiday break to be a very effective time for decluttering. You’re already being bombarded by the materialistically-infatuated frenzy of society’s version of Christmas, Hanukah, etc. It’s nice to get out of the claustrophobic avarice of the world and come home to a clean, fresh, and tidy room. While stacking up old books, CDs, and shoes may seem like no big deal, it can become a dangerous habit. The longer you hang onto something, whether it be for sentimental value or simply routine, it becomes much harder to let go of. Starting the process of decluttering can be the hardest part. To make it a little easier, get out three boxes and label them Donate, Storage, and Trash. I'm in the middle of the process right now, and while it is quite time consuming, it is also so relieving and calming to see how much you don't have to deal with anymore. Use these six questions below to help decide where an item gets sorted or if it obtains the value to stay out in your precious sanctuary from the world.

Keep Reading... Show less

Why I Don't Write (Or Read) An "Open Letter To My Future Husband/Wife"

Because inflated expectations and having marriage as your only goal are overrated.

Urban Intellectuals

Although I have since changed my major I remember the feverish hysteria of applying to nursing school--refreshing your email repeatedly, asking friends, and frantically calculating your GPA at ungodly hours of the night. When my acceptance came in I announced the news to friends and family with all the candor of your average collegiate. I was met with well wishes, congratulations, and interrogations on the program's rank, size, etc. Then, unexpectedly, I was met with something else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Meet the creators making their voices heard on Odyssey.

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week
Why I Write On Odyssey

At Odyssey, we're on a mission to encourage constructive discourse on the Internet. That's why we created the response button you can find at the bottom of every article.

Last week, our response writers sparked some great conversations right here on our homepage. Here are the top three response articles:

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments