Writing a senior honors thesis as an undergrad is just plain scary. As freshmen they tell you that you'll be fine and you will be completely prepared for it. As a sophomore, they tell you to start thinking about a topic and that the whole world is at your disposal. Then as a junior, it begins and you have so much planned, your research will change the world!
As a senior you get real. All the sudden your due date is like this week. You can't believe it, it cannot be possible. And so you start the first of the five stages of thesis grief.
1. Denial
My thesis isn't due this week. It can't be due this week. I mean I just started it what? Two years ago now? I don't know how to write the results section of a research article. I don't know what implications for the future my research shows. Like seriously I'm only an undergrad, my thesis can't be due already. But it is.
2. Anger
Why the hell did I decide to do my own study? Why was I so stupid to think I could get all of this done? I could have gone the easy way and had done a literature review like so many before me have. But no, and now I'm 45 pages of writing deep and nowhere close to done. Or good for that matter. Seriously why the eff did I do this to myself?
3. Bargaining
Okay maybe if I email the honors director he will give me another 3-week extension right? I mean come on like I did everything else and I'm a second semester senior like just let me be done with this. Please, God, I promise I tried really hard and didn't procrastinate... that much.
4. Depression
That's it. I just won't finish it and I won't graduate with honors and I'll never get a job and I'll move into Mom and Dad's basement. My life is over. I failed. I couldn't do it. I'll just have to drop out now before anyone notices I didn't finish.
5. Acceptance
Okay if I just put in a little bit more work I can actually finish this. It's not what I originally set out to do, but hey I'm an undergrad student that did her own research study. And you know it isn't half bad. My adviser said it's good and all I have to do now is turn it in and I'm home free, right? I'm proud of myself and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.
Oh, sh*t I forgot I have to defend it in front of a panel.
