In the summer before college, there would always be the standard questions I was asked by family and friends about going away. Are you going to be able to make friends? Will you be prepared for college classes? Will you hate the food? And of course the answers were a resounding, no. I spend my days alone avoiding studying eating in the dining hall. But lately I’ve noticed my answers changing. People apparently tolerate me, and even I can learn how to do addition and subtraction in math. But the worst part is that the food has lost its quality taste. Sure, there’s a good omelet now and then, but I find my mouth watering thinking about my dad’s scrambled eggs. So, lately I’ve been thinking about the foods I’m most looking forward to on fall break. So without further ado, here are the five food I’m looking forward to most on fall break (sorry for the repetition, I’m losing my train of thought from starvation)
1. Qdoba
First of all, don’t come at me with your Chipotle rubbish. I could spend a whole blog on why Qdoba is better, and I don’t want to waste your time reading my meaningless blogs. But I digress. There’s no feeling similar to breaking into the flour tortilla with that first bite and the queso filling your mouth. Oops that got weird. Even more specifically, I’m waiting for the Qdoba in Westfield NJ (represent from my hometown next door, Mountainside) the chill chef always hits me up with the extra portions. I couldn’t cheat on my home turf with some Philly place.2.Taylor ham egg and cheese
Since I was brought up in New Jersey, I have to follow it up with a Jersey special, Taylor ham. I’m not taking the time to explain to you heathens from the other 49 states, but Taylor ham is also known as pork roll and is pig in its finest form. Put that on a bagel with eggs and cheese, and you’re an honorary New Jerseyan, feel free to talk to Snooki and be a terrible driver.3. Cheeseburger
There’s only one food I refuse to get in a dining hall, and that’s a cheeseburger. A charred patty that has gone cold with a cold piece of cheese does not do justice to the cow that sacrificed her flesh and milk to satisfy my craving. If I wanted to disrespect her, I'd go to Chick-fil-A. I need to get to an Irish pub and have them load it up with onions and bacon.
4. Pizza
The one food I have completely loaded up on at college. It’s easy, its quick, and it gets the job done. Pizza is pizza, no matter how disgusting. Nevertheless, Philly pizza disgraces New York, as per usual. I feel like a true criminal for eating that much pizza, it’s like I murdered pizza hut. (Yes that’s a "Space Balls" reference, no I am not mature.) It’s so greasy my fingers slip just trying to pick up a slice. My acne has had a bigger breakout than those two Pennsylvania convicts. I need a classic thin crust pie from one of the million authentic Italian pizzerias around New York. Only that can make up for my cardinal sin of eating such bad pizza constantly at school. There are also all these weird toppings, including buffalo chicken. This is very common here, and people think it's OK. The only place buffalo chicken belongs is on a chip dipped in my mother’s buffalo chicken dip.
5. My mom’s buffalo chicken dip
What a crazy segue! Man, am I brilliant. Almost as brilliant as my mother making her dip. She probably gets it from a recipe, but it’s one of her few specialties, so I’ll give her credit. Bless her heart, but she isn’t exactly a culinary artist. She gets the job done most of the time, though, and knocks it out of the park every so often with this dip. I’ve probably eaten a gallon of the stuff at once. One bag of chips just isn’t enough. I honestly could probably take over a Tostitos factory and just eat that for an entire day. So yes, I am busy on fall break.
So my fast begins until my entrance into the Qdoba and then eating the rest of the foods constantly. It will be well worth the wait, and the failing midterm grades from passing out during an exam. Someone hand me a protein bar, it’s going to be a long week.
