You have a picture perfect mentality of how college is supposed to go. Making a ton of friends, considering your roommate your sister, meeting a bunch of cute boys, and of course, getting a 4.0. These were all expectations I had going into college.
However, the events did not go as perfectly as I had hoped, but college is a learning experience, and realistically speaking, not everybody has a perfect first semester. There were some life lessons learned from my first semester, that's for sure.
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I had to go random with a roommate, and not saying that going random is a bad thing, but I am not the most outgoing person and the thought of talking to new people scared me. There were so many girls in the UAlbany Class of 2020 group that I felt that I had a lot in common with, but I was just too scared of rejection. I have never in my life been the type of person to talk first in a conversation; I always let others come to me. However, I can say after one semester of college, I am more of a people person than I was before. The amount of girls that recognized me from social media at parties and asked "are you Macy?" is more than I could count, and I found myself introducing myself to others as well; It's something I would never even dream of doing before. I'm still not the most outgoing, but I have improved.
When I got my housing assignment, I found out I got put into an increased triple, which is a room designed for two people with three people in it. I had no idea something like this even existed, and I was incredibly nervous. Being an only child, this was going to be a big adjustment. When I decided to take it upon myself to get moved, the only available space for me was Colonial Quad, one of the sophomore quads at UAlbany. So, I am currently a freshman living on a sophomore quad, but I must say, Colonial Quad is awesome. The close proximity to Collin's Circle, the mail room, and the Social Sciences bus stop makes this quad ideal for sophomores. Not to mention, the dining hall is open until 11 pm! A big advantage over living on State quad, where the dining hall closes at eight. If you're a freshman, try to live on this quad next year.
I had a very solid group of friends at the start of the semester. I had started to notice that I was included in less and less events though. I would look at Snapchat and watch stories of this group hanging out without me. I noticed that nobody would text me asking to hangout. I noticed that I would get ignored in the group chat. I felt that I did not belong in this group, and I wasn't sure what the problem was.
I then found out that a second group chat was made, that did not include me in it. Apparently, the reason why I was not put in this group chat is because I was "annoying". Very comforting. It's honestly wonderful how this happened four days before my first final.
I felt that I could not concentrate for the life of me studying for finals. Sitting in the library looking at all of the study groups and knowing that I was all alone was very daunting. My sleep schedule was very out of whack, as I was staying up all night wondering what I could have done differently. I would often skip meals and go hours and hours without eating anything at all. My motivation was not as high as it should have been, and because of this, I did not do as good on my finals as I could have. How am I supposed to study for finals and come up with the best plan for my future when I don't feel like a priority? I was still proud of myself, as I managed to finish the semester with a 3.45 GPA, and my lowest grade being a B-. This was a lot better than I thought it would be.
Looking back, I don't understand why I was so sensitive to the fact that I was alone. If I can offer any piece of advice relating to making friends; It's to keep in mind that you are better off alone that being around others that make you feel alone. Had I known this, I would have done better on my finals. I wish I was able to brush situations off easier, but let's face it, I'm sensitive.
So what are my goals for next semester? Well, obviously I'm going to strive for a higher GPA. PA school is very competitive, and I need to stand out. I also plan on joining a sorority. I feel like this is a great way to make new friends and have a special bond and a "sisterhood", something that sounds very exciting to me. I also will put in a little more effort into how I look and how I dress, since I feel the happiest when I think I look good. I will also eat more often, eat more salad, and drink more water. Most importantly, I will not let social media sway me. I have learned not to get jealous over the flipagrams of somebody's eventful first semester, but instead be happy for them and hope that happiness continues for many more semesters.
And to those of you who had a not-so-great first semester, hang in there. Find out what the problem is and make an effort to try and fix it. Don't give up because of one bad semester. I believe in you. College can be a great experience, we just need to give it time.
Going into the second semester of college not having anyone and being alone will be interesting to say the least. But, I have been through a lot in life, and I know I can handle this. I'm excited (and nervous) to see what this next semester holds.
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