To all incoming freshmen, I have a spoiler alert for you. You're not going to meet your best friends in your first semester of college.
What? How? Why? You're lying to me. These were all thoughts that I had personally experienced when someone told me this. An upperclassman told me this, and I didn't believe them, I wanted to prove them wrong. At first, I thought I did, then times changed, I changed, and they ended up being right.
College is this crazy experience that's going to change you. Some of it could change for the good, the other could change for the bad. It depends on how you take it. You change a lot as a person in your first semester, and it is the craziest thing to experience. Part of this is why the friends you make this time might not end up being your best friends for life?
Why does this happen? That's an exact thought that I had, and when I was distancing myself from the friends I had made I found the answer. You're going to drastically change as a person in college.
When you go in on move-in day and meet all these new people, you go in as someone who is fresh out of high school and has never lived on their own before. Then, you begin to live on your own, and you find out a lot about yourself. Everyone does this, they find the things they're interested in, they find their limits, and they experiment with new experiences.
How? It happens when you guys begin to find that you're interested in different things and that you prioritize different things, and you distance yourself from each other.
How does this feel, when going through it? There are going to be good days and bad days. The good days are the days when you make plans with people and you progress your friendship further with these new set of people. The bad days are when you feel alone and sad, and you feel like you have nobody talk too.
There is always someone to talk too, you just find them. For the longest time, I didn't have anyone here that I could confide in. I am getting to that place with some friends, but it is going to take a long time.
Why does it take so long? My friend told me this, it feels like it takes you so long because you're in this brand-new environment with nobody that you truly know around you. However, it took you 18 years to make best friends back at home.
You guys grew up with the people around you, making best friends doesn't happen overnight. It takes years and years of growing together and spending every day in class together.
College is so big that you won't see everyone every single day around campus because of how packed it is. Since I don't see these people every day, I don't have a constant reminder to text or to communicate with them. That constant reminder in high school is what keeps friendships alive, even if you don't share a class with them. I did not share a single class with my best friend during senior year, and we still managed to keep in touch because we saw each other every single day in the halls.
What about your friends from home? I still keep in touch with my friends from home on a regular basis. I have my Snapchat streaks with them, and the people who I want to remain a big part of my life, I make sure I text them.
Even though you have these friendships, you shouldn't rely on them for your happiness and your social life in college. The University of Delaware is three hours away from my hometown, and I only really text and Snapchat these people. That's not good. You need to verbally communicate with people, and make more friends.
You're not always going to have the people who you know from home because sometimes they're busy doing whatever, and a text message won't suffice some days. Trust me, I've tried. That's why you need to make more friends at college because you'll eventually meet that best friend, it's going to take some time though.
How do you go about making more friends? If you go to a big school like the University of Delaware, it's easy to dissociate yourself from people and to find a group you click with. I did exactly that, and I focused on the friends I had from the leadership program here. I made friends that were like-minded and you're going to find those people in college.
What's your personal experience with this?
My personal experience with this is that I went in on move-in day and I met a bunch of people from all different floors in my dorm. I ended up clicking with a bunch of people and we all began hanging out. I ended up moving into the room that we all hung out in, and at first, I thought I was okay with it. Then, mid-semester came and we began growing apart.
They watched horror movies every night in my room, and I am someone who hates horror movies. I spent a lot of time in my lounge studying for class, and I met a lot of people on my floor through this. I never watched the movies, and they all got close and I began to feel left out.
Thus, I went and made more friends. These people always being in my room got to me, and I couldn't handle it anymore. After some conversations with my roommate, RA, and her friends, they never really spent any more time in my room.
I grew apart from these people and am no longer friends with them today. It was sad and hard at first, but I learned from this experience. Today, I have great friends and I only 2 of them from my first semester in college.
Friendships take time, people take time to grow. As you go through college, you'll meet people and sometimes you just won't meet people your first semester because your lives didn't run in similar circles. That's okay.
If you don't meet your ride or die group your first semester, don't worry. You have 7 more semesters to go and a lot more people to meet. Trust me, I didn't meet the majority of my close friends until my third semester of college and I am loving life.