When I left my small town (Newburyport, Massachusetts) for college in New York I knew no one and no one knew me. I was completely on my own for once, with no one to fall back on or to hide behind anymore. A lot of people say when you go to college it's like starting over, a clean slate; for me is was a brand new slate.
I had met a few people at my orientation, from my small group and on the Facebook page for my class, and I've always been very outgoing. But I found my new home and everyone around me unnerving and quite frankly I wasn't ready to start all over again and make new friends. It was exhausting the first time, and I never wanted any of my other friends from home to feel forgotten or unloved by me. Or at least that's what I told myself so I felt better for not putting myself out there. Both my roommates were introverted, and comfortably so, leaving me to hang out in my room more often than not. I met our next door neighbor the first day, she kind of just waltzed in; she was my first real friend on campus, but we'll come back to her in a bit.
Within the first week, there were club fairs, and multiple opportunities to make friends and become a part of my community, but I let myself stay on the outside. For the first time in my life I wasn't the girl who did everything and everyone knew. I was very fortunate growing up to be able to do anything I wanted, and so I did. My parents were incredibly supportive and pushed me to do as many things as possible. But in college I wanted to focus on my career, and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Furthermore, I wanted to get to know myself again, before I let the rest of campus know me.
So I only signed up for one club, our media club and got my own radio show. I was friendly with a few people on campus, and started leaving my door open when I did homework and became known on my floor as "top-bunk girl" or so I've been told. I only left my room for class and food really, and even then I didn't always leave. In the first month of school I lost 30 pounds, I was too afraid everyone would think I was fat so I only got salads and ate the bare minimum; which for someone with low blood sugar not the best idea.
After a few weeks I slowly worked up to courage to keep saying hi to my floormates and smiling at my classmates. It sounds juvenile but hey, I was 18 and a nervous wreck about making a new impression. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, we all grew up together, and after you trip in front of the whole class everyone knows you. Until one day I was talking with my neighbor, and we started talking more about our lives. This was the first time in weeks I had really talked about myself and let someone get to know me, and she liked me!
We started hanging out everyday, getting lunch together, doing homework in our floor lounge, and then she threw a party and invited me. It was there that I met two of the most amazing human beings who have gone on to become my best friends in the whole world. After a questionable night, I had made a lot of friends, and somewhat of a name for myself. I was feeling really good about myself for the first time since getting to school over a month later.
Now after two years, I'm going into my junior year at the Mount and I couldn't be any happier with where I am. Small town went big city, and after some time of adjustment, I found my footing in my new favorite place that I get to call home for another two years, surrounded by the most amazing people.
