What They Don't Tell You About First Kisses

First kisses are something that are awkward and maybe even a bit invigorating. Your first kiss might bring back funny flashbacks of someone clumsily trying to lean in, or it might bring to mind wonderful serendipity. Regardless, looking back, almost everyones first kiss makes them smile. If you have not had your first kiss yet that's okay. Something about reading other peoples stories makes me feel better about my first kiss and can possibly help others who maybe have not had their first kiss figure out just what to expect.

One thing that bugged me about kissing was that no one told me how to do it or what to expect. I asked many of my friends who had already had their first kiss to tell me what it was like but none of them would spill the details. Now, I was not looking to know everything, I only wanted the logistics. Who moved in first? Which way does you tilt your head? Is it different with braces on? Those sort of things. No one would tell me. If they did, it was usually something vague like "I don't know how to explain it, it just kind of happens in the moment." They were sort of right, but not specific at all! So other people do not have to go through the same stress that I went through trying to figure it out, I interviewed some of my friends and asked them to share their first kisses with me. I have replaced all of their names with different ones to conceal their identities.

One common place to share a first kiss is at sleep-away-camp. Lets face it, it is practically the ideal place. You're away from your parents, free from them finding out until you decide to tell them. It's kind of like a dating app but IRL (in real life). You basically have a whole group of eligible bachelors/ bachelorettes at your disposal. First kisses here seam ethereal, like no matter how quirky the kiss you probably would not trade it for anything because it couldn't have been more perfect, more human.


"It was the summer going into eighth grade, and I just wanted to get my first kiss over with. We were at a social (dance) and I started talking to this guy who I thought was really cute. We both knew it was going to happen because we had friends talking about it and stuff. Then, that night we went behind the bleachers and started kissing. He puckered his lips the whole time as if it was a pop kiss and I had my mouth open using tongue. It was so awkward and gross, but now we are good friends and laugh about it all the time."


"It was summer. I was going into sixth grade I think, and it was the last night of camp. All of us were leaving our first coed dance to go to an end of session bonfire. I took this girl behind the building where we had the dance and in three quick pecks I had my first kiss. I still remember her name too which is super funny considering I have never seen her since."

Ahh, Halloween. Something about the cold air and fun parties makes me smile regardless of the countless time I have stayed in each year. There is candy, costumes, an added scare factor. What in this short list doesn't scream I want to have my first kiss? Halloween comes with the masking of self. If you have seen the movie Mean Girls, you know that it is the one night a year that you get to be someone you are not. People dawn their masks, trading in their normal appearance for one that resembles lets say a cat or wizard. Everyone is a slightly different version of themselves so kissing someone is less scary.


"I'll make it quick. I was in the third grade and I had a girlfriend. We went to a Halloween party and there was a haunted house. In one of the rooms it was just me, my scared girlfriend, and a friend of mine. He told us to kiss, and we did. We kissed three more times throughout the night. I don't even like girls now."


" I can't remember if I was twelve or thirteen. I was at a Halloween party where everyone wanted to play spin the bottle. Some people were more adamant than others, making those who weren't up in arms to play a touch uncomfortable. This prompted me to try and play the hero, attempt to drop the subject. I thought I could be the adult and say that it was a special moment between two people, not something that should be overdone or blown out of proportion. I've always been one who hates it when people profit on someone else's insecurities or short comings. Then a special someone told me that what I did was really sweet. I said it was my pleasure. I kissed her, and the rest is history."


"I was at a Halloween party in eighth grade and hanging out with my camp friends. This one kid and I were kind of making eye contact at each other all night and then told my friend he wanted to hook up with me. So, we went into another room and kissed. but it wasn't worth it because he was awful and people kept banging on the door and killed my mood."

My first kiss was slightly different from all of my friends. I was much older, and had this crazy idea that if it didn't happen soon it probably was never going to happen at all. I simply felt too old. That, by the way, is one hundred percent false. It took me a long time to realize it but your first kiss should happen when you are ready, not just because someone is pressuring you to do so. Sure I had offers when I was a little younger, but I didn't want to kiss them. It was nothing against the guys themselves, I just was not ready. This might come from my romantic side, but kissing someone I had no feelings for just did not feel right.

I was sixteen and on a study abroad trip in Israel for six months. one night I was at a silent concert in Tel Aviv where everyone had on big headphones and at one point, a little boy about ten or so was DJ'ing a huge crowd of people who had to have been almost twice his age. I was dancing with a group of my friends, in between the madness of sweaty people all living in euphoria. There were a group of beautiful Israeli guys who happened to be around two years older than us and about to go into the army. One of them (we will call him Adam) in particular started talking to me but was asking about my friends so I just assumed he was not interested. For the rest of the night my friends and his were all dancing going low to the floor as the music built up and then popping up after the beat dropped. As the concert was coming to an end, a women from our trip walked around collecting our headphones telling us that we had about ten minutes to get to the exit. Amidst a huge crowd of people dancing and singing, Adam asked if I wanted to kiss him. I said yes, because let's face it, hopeless romantic or not if a gorgeous Israeli (as most of them are) ask to kiss you chances are you will not say no. Besides the poor chap was going to be in the Navy in a few months. So, I thought "let's live", and kissed this tall tan guy who I knew very little about. One of my friends took a picture though I have no clue where it went. We met up about three more times throughout the trip.

One thing I have learned from my brief existence on this planet is you do not have to rush anything! Yes, people do say that life is short, but you should not live with only that in mind. Kissing someone can be scary. For pretty much our whole lives up to the point of our first kiss it has just been our parents and maybe several family members cheeks. Kissing someone is a big deal! It is the first step many people take to figuring out who they are and what they are comfortable with. You always have the opportunity to make the best out of every situation. If you do not want to kiss that girl or guy under the bleachers, or in the middle of a concert, then don't. If you are older and still do not feel ready, then wait. If you do not want to kiss some one of the opposite sex, that is okay too. Nothing is for sure other then the fact that you control the terms on which you live your life. So go forth and live it the way you want to! And if you decide to kiss someone, it might be weird and scary at first, but go for it! All you have to do is lean in and the rest will fall into place.

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