An open letter to the guy who broke my heart before any other guy ever could.
Dear "Dad",
Growing up you are always told that some people will break your heart, that it’s inevitable and happens to everyone. But, you never are truly prepared when your first heart break comes from your “dad”. I have always put “dad” in quotation marks because I do not think you deserve that title. I have honestly spent most of my life hating you. I never got the chance to love you like a daughter does her dad. While others have memories of growing up with their dad, I have painful memories where you were absent. I remember daddy-daughter days at school and looking around and I was standing alone. Father’s Day, is just another Sunday to me. I hope that when that day comes around you feel the deepest regret and like a damn fool for being the type of person that you truly are. Actually, I hope it hits you every single day that you made the biggest mistake of your life and what you are truly missing out on. When people ask me about my dad, I say, "I do not talk about you because I am ashamed of you." It's a question I would rather ignore. I have actually said, "I did not even know your name" just to avoid the conversation topic. I am ashamed of how awful of a person that you are and how you treated me, that I want no connection to you. I know that you cannot pick your family, and definitely cannot decide who your parents will be, but you are a complete embarrassment. The emptiness you left in my life was filled by my family members. This helped build stronger relationships with them and they were able to see my milestones, while you were off doing whatever it was that was better than being in my life and being a father.
As I have gotten older, I have let go of the fact that you leaving me and never wanting me was NEVER my fault! I do not even hate you anymore, you do not deserve to have any type of feelings from me. I hope that one day it hits you like a hurricane that you missed out on a now woman, who is smart and intelligent. I am all these things that you had no part of what so ever. You deserve no credit for how great I turned out.
I do not know anything about you and you do not know anything about me. How weird is that? Is that sad to you? A parent and a child knowing nothing about one another.
I will give you this credit though…you broke my heart before any guy ever could. Congratulations! I will give you that one.
Sincerely,
An amazing, strong, independent girl raised WITHOUT her father
