In my 18 years, I’ve been lucky. I’ve never lost a close loved one. Last week that changed. Last week my great-grandmother of 94 was called home.
Dojo (as we called her) was one of those feisty, tough old ladies that’ll tell it like it is. But she was also kind, hard-working, generous, funny, and dedicated to the Lord. For the last five or six years she has been in the nursing home. She got bad sick several times in those years and came through it like a champ. We always joked that she would outlive us all. But Dojo didn’t want that.
Dojo was ready. She was so ready.
About a year ago, I posted another blog on a different site about my Dojo. If you didn’t read it, I titled it I Will Be I wrote it after a visit to grandmother in the nursing home where she had a choking fit and couldn’t breathe for several seconds. I (forever jumping to dramatic conclusions) got scared that she was going to choke to death right there in front of us. But she didn’t. She caught her breath; we asked if she was ok. Her response was “I will be.”
Dojo awaited last Tuesday for several years. She lived a full life, a strong life, a dedicated life. She was ready to go. She knew she could never be truly ok while on this earth. She knew that one day she would be truly, totally ok, forever.
And now she is. Now she is rejoicing in heaven forever and ever. She is ok now.
But we were still sad.
Funerals are always hard. But when it’s a loved one… it hurts. Bad. It’s surreal to see someone who was once so full of life lying motionless in front of you. It’s hard to know that you’ll never hear someone laugh again, someone tell the same old story again, someone love you again on this earth. That’s really hard.
But it wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be.
You see, we’ve been praying for the good Lord to take her for several months. She prayed for it. And He finally did, He finally made her ok. So yes, there were tears at the funeral and visitation. But there were also a lot of stories. Some laughs. Memories recalled and made. Love. Celebration of a life lived beautifully.
I strive for that. When my family stands over me when I leave them someday, I want this. I want to know that yes, there are tears, but that they also have the comfort of knowing where I will be waiting on them. I want them to look at my life and see that it was lived out beautifully for God. I want them to celebrate, because I want to be celebrating. I want them to remember me with love, laughter, and joy.
But if I want this, if you want this — it starts now. It’s time to live in such a way that my life can be celebrated. It’s time to live like Dojo. It’s time to live for God.
