The biggest thing I have to tell you in this is that sometimes you have to throw your catch back. You know that saying "There are plenty of fish in the sea"? Well, if you catch a fish that you didn’t intend to or that you realize you don’t want, throw it back for the next person. Yes I know that its nice to get some attention, but there is some very important information that my mother just told me.

Men our age don’t ask us out because they want to see if we have chemistry. They ask us out because they are already head over heals for us. You may, like me, disagree with this idea, but I hope you can learn from my mistakes. I used to have a one-date rule and have had to recently rethink it. I’ll first tell you what my rules were and then go on to tell you how they didn’t work out for me. Who knows, maybe you’ll have better luck then me. Rule 1, don’t agree to another date before going on the first. Stick to one and see how it goes. Rule 2, be open minded but strong willed. In other words, be open to new experiences but if it makes you question your moral boundaries you need to politely decline. Sky diving maybe fun, skinny dipping (or chunky dunking) in Lake Erie… That’s going to be a no from me. Rule 3, Him being a nice guy or super sweet does not earn him a second date. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this but I am sticking to my guns! If you like him enough for a second date then feel free to go again, but if you feel like he is not your type or just don’t have the chemistry you are looking for then don’t give him a sympathy date! You will hurt him more in the end. Rule 4, Be honest. I know that sounds simple but its not. Having to tell a guy that you are not interested can be really hard! You wanna tell him that its not him, when in all reality it is. You have to be up front with the guy you go on a date with, (they DON’T take hints!) either say yes I would be very interested in seeing you again or no I am not interested in a relationship with you, but thank you asking me out. That leads to the next rule. Rule 5, Be very kind, but firm. Guys put a lot out there to ask a girl out, the least we can do is let them down gently. At the same time, men tend to interpret kindness as interest. So be very aware of how kind you are and remember to stick to what you say. If you give on one point he will expect you to budge on another. Rule 6, Lets just be friends is out! I have no idea what happened! One day guys got it and the next day they didn’t! I went out on a first date and did all my other rules but told him “lets just be friends” he proceeded to text me ever day twice a day! That’s not the kind of friends I was talking about! I don’t even text my best friends everyday (Love you guys) and yet here he was texting me constantly over my thanksgiving break. We should probably just tell them “hey lets me acquaintances” because I don’t want to talk to you everyday and let you into my life. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t know and I kind of don’t care. They assume way to much! Rule 7, do not let them connect with you over social media until you know whether you want to date, be friends, or ignore them completely. Its harder to get away from them when they know your every move. Okay so those are my 7 rules that I am now going to explain how they failed me. I use to think that every guy deserves a first date. I was wrong. Even if they are supper sweet, if you are not interested do not agree to a date. If you feel bad enough say that you will only go on a group date. There are safety in number don’t forget that. The problem with being nice but firm is that they might me sweet and determined. I went on the date and said, “I don’t have time and that I wasn’t interested in a relationship” he countered that with, “there is always time, we can hang out at your work. We can build it up from a friendship” so you can see my dilemma. He is a super sweet guy and did not take the hint and sadly contact just had to be broken. So in the end my mother was right once again about not doing first dates for every guy that asks.

Lots of love

SAW