I don't want kids. Four simple words that brings judgement and usually something along the lines of, "You're too young to know what you want yet," or "Oh, you'll change your mind." I also might as well have horns growing out my head with the looks I get. Having kids is a choice, just like not having kids is a choice, and it is a choice that every woman gets to make.
Why is it that when I say that I don't want kids that the response is, "You're too young to know what you want yet?" It's my future, which by the way, starting at the young age of 17 I had to start planning. Ages 17-18 are spent deciding what college you'll go to, if you go to college, or even making the decision to join the military. Ages 18-19 are spent deciding and declaring your major. Ages 21- 22 (if you're the traditional student and it's totally okay if you aren't) is when you are applying for jobs and making a decision about what type of career you want. Sure, not everyone will stay with the same job that they get right after college but if 17-22 isn't too young to be making decisions about your future education and career, then why is it too young to make the decision to not want kids?
Kids are expensive and life is expensive. I applaud the people who can make it work, but I honestly don't want the added financial stress of a kid in my life. On top of this, I have things I want to do and places I want to go. Traveling isn't cheap and it isn't easy to do with kids. You can't casually ask someone to watch your kids the same way you can your pet so maybe you take them with you. I spent my summers traveling across the country, Virginia to New Mexico, in van. We drove because it was cheaper than flying and when we first started there were only two kids. Then my brother came, family of 5 in a van full of stuff for a full summer. I can't imagine it was easy. Another thing is that kids have to be watched all the time which kind of takes away from the sight seeing. Turn your back for four seconds and suddenly your kid is hanging over a railing over looking a huge fall.
I also want to have a career. I want to put the fours years that I have spent getting a degree to use. I don't have any desire to be a stay at home mom either. My mother did it and she did it beautifully but I don't see that in my future. I'm also not about to ask my future husband to stay home because he'll have worked just as hard to get where he is as I have. Day care isn't cheap either and as stated before, I have things I want to do.
And before you call me selfish, think about how selfish you're being by telling me that I should have kids and trying to impose your morals on me. Let's also think about the planet for a hot second. It's overpopulated; the ideal population is 4 billion and we're almost to 8 billion. So tell me, how selfish am I being when I'm actually bettering your life by not having kids?
I will never judge a woman for choosing to have kids, so why judge me for choosing to not? It is a woman's choice. I am not the only woman who feels this way and I am not any less of a woman, nor will I ever be, for my choice. Maybe someday I will change my mind, but that is my decision to make not yours to tell me. Which by the way, by telling me that I'll change my mind you are invalidating how I feel and telling me that I don't have the right to decide what I do with my body. Having children is a choice. Motherhood is not a requirement to be a woman.
