When I started this article it was out of gratitude to my wonderful boyfriend. All of that changed yesterday with a ring and a promise. He is now my fiancé but I feel this makes this article all the more powerful because I am going to tell you how to find your Prince Charming.
If you are anything like me, you live for romance. Romance/Romantic comedies are your bread and butter and you dream of when you will have a McDreamy of your own. Depending on what life stage you are at, you may be extremely desperate for this to happen in your life. This may mean that you bounce from crush to crush desperately hoping for requited love. I know you because I was you - here’s how I broke that pattern.
Let Love find you.
When I met my now fiancé he was a scruffy 20 year old kid who wore puka shell necklace and lots of church T-shirts. We worked together in our children’s ministry. I was a self- absorbed 18 year old who had never had a decent guy like him. He was cute but I didn’t think much of him until he reached out and started messaging me on facebook –very modern age Romeo and Juliet- after about a month of constant communication we started dating. I couldn’t get my ego out of the way and a few months later we broke up. I went off to college and he stayed in my home town.
Love won’t look like you think it will.
From the time I was little I had my own ideas on how love worked. I had a list of “attributes” that I prayed over in my future husband. Among them “taller than me” and “well established financially.” Michael was and still is shorter than me by a good inch and as a tech he will never be a millionaire. This was at first a problem for me. I was looking for love and when it hit me hard I bypassed it entirely. When someone else namely God is writing your love story He chooses the characters not you. That’s not to say the first guy that comes along is “the one” but I wouldn’t be dismissive if he doesn’t look like you thought he would.
Love is Patient
The whole reason I started to write this article in the first place was because my then boyfriend has been so entirely patient with me as we go to Doctor’s visits, pick up prescriptions and figure out exactly what is “wrong with me.” He has dealt with mood swings and days when I feel “off” and taken everything in stride with kindness and patience. Our story has not been simple or quick. There has been a lot between point A and point B when we came back together after two years of miscommunication I was not in a place where we could date. I told him this and to my shock he said “that’s ok. I’ll wait.” It’s been nearly two years since that conversation and I am so grateful he did.
Love isn’t perfect
As I said above there have been a lot of ups and downs in our relationship. It was four years in the making and a union of two imperfect people. We have both made mistakes and had to face hard decisions and tons of life changes in the process. Forgiveness for yourself and your partner is essential when times get tough.
Love is a Choice
I know I’ve talked a lot about my story and there are millions of other love stories out there but here is the most important part. Love is not a feeling but a choice. There will be days when you and your partner can not get along and you have to choose to love them then. When he’s stinky from a long day at work but he chose to come to your house after so he could kiss you goodnight before going home. Love is messy and imperfect, but most importantly it is a choice.
This story is my story. It is not perfect, but it is mine. I can not say how your story will work out only that it is being written for you even as you read this. If you so desire use these points as a guide map for the future. Most importantly wait for your Prince Charming, and when the time comes always choose love you won't regret it.
