Family is an amazing thing, and when you leave for college you realize that for maybe the first time in life you are truly alone. It's just you - and maybe a friend or two from highschool that came with you to the same university, or if you're extremely lucky maybe you have awesome roommates. However, in college you have the opportunity to find a whole new type of family - one that is not related by blood, but one that you choose, and to me that is a much stronger bond.
Personally, my little college family consists of seven people. Theses people are probably the most unlikely group of friends that you could possibly put together. We all come different corners of the country, we have different high school educations, and everyone has different interests and views on everything. However, we are a family because of mutual love and admiration we have not only for the Lord, but also for each other.
Here are a few things to remember when you're finding your college fam:
1. Don't Be Afraid To Be Yourself
When meeting people for the first time, it's easy to try and become something that you're not, but if they're honestly meant to be your college family, they won't care what you're like. If you're awkward and make terrible jokes, they'll love you just as much as if you were spontaneous and hilarious.
2. Awkward Can Be Endearing
This comes from a personal experience. The second day of school, my roommates and I were introduced to this group of guys from our brother dorm at a local ice cream hot spot. So we're all standing there talking and I ask the first guy his name and he responds, "Cale," and me, being my awkward self, say, "Oh, so you're leafy greens?" However, it doesn't stop there, the next guy we talked to was Nate and I asked him the normal question "So, are you a freshman?" and it turned out he was a sophomore, so instead of saying "cool" like a normal person, I responded with, "Hmmm yeah I thought you looked old." Yet even though these people saw my awkwardness and who I was right out of the gate, wouldn't you know those two are the most important guys in my life today.
3. Any Time Spent Together Is Family Time
This can be anything from study dates in the library with little to no talking, to hammocking like a bunch of hobos until you're forced to go inside. My point is, no matter what you're doing at the moment, if your friends are truly family they won't care if it's cold or what other events are going on because they just want to spend time together as a group.
4. They'll Take On Family Roles
Whether they intentionally do this or not there will always be someone that steps in as the "Mom" and "Dad" of the group in order to keep everyone straight and organized.
5. No Topic Is Off Limits
If these people you call family are truly your family you can talk about anything in front of them no matter what kind of company you're keeping. So if you accidentally let slip that you've seen way too much of your roommate because she never remembers where she put her pants in the middle of lunch, your family will laugh along with you, not admonish you for bringing something like that up.
6. Just like Every Other Family, There Will Be Fights
"My friends and I never fight" - probably because they're simply just your friends, not your family. There is a rarely a time where everyone is happy about everything and everyone. There will be days when you just can't stand anyone and you feel like you're about to blow up, but at the same time you know you love these people and that they will always come back because they love you too, just like a real family would.
7. Trouble Is Always A Must
If you don't have a healthy bit of troublemaking in your family relationship, then it will just simply be boring. Find something to do at your school that isn't considered terrible, but maybe just funny or entertaining. For instance, an unidentified party dyed the water in the Demoss fountain purple one day and put in a liter of bubble bath just to make the fountain frothy and fun. Now if you ask me, that sounds like a perfect family activity.
8. They'll Do Anything For You
Whether it's yelling "LUPD" as they run down the street towards you in order to alert you to the arrival of the police, disposing of a body, or simply bringing your laptop cord to convo, your family has always got your back, no matter if it's the first time you've screwed up or the hundredth.
9. They'll Love You No Matter What
In a family there is no judgement. If you come to them and admit something ground-shattering, they're going to love you even though you are not perfect, because that's what families do. They stick together through thick and thin and they will never leave your side. These people will challenge you because they care about your well being and what you to be the best version of yourself that you possibly can be.
10. You Never Know How Or When You'll Meet Them
But when you do meet them, you'll know. I never expected to find my college family the second day of school at a bro/sis dorm function in front of an ice cream truck. Now, I am definitely not saying that you'll know the first time you meet them that they'll become your best friends. I managed to insult all three of the awesome guys in our friendship and one of my best girl friends I disliked greatly when we first met. However, for us there was a moment when we truly knew we were a family. One of our boys was having a rough moment in his other friendships at school so we all gathered on top of the East Campus tunnel and just had a little family gathering. We sat up there for a few moments completely silent, no one really knowing what was going to happen or why we came together. However, one of us spoke up and asked if we could pray for the issues that he was going through and together we sat on that roof and joined together physically and spiritually. That was the moment that I knew I had found my forever friends and family.
Friends in college are a big deal - you actually kind of need them to survive the semester because Netflix being your best friend can only get you so far. So I encourage you to get out there and find your family. Have other friends that you can talk to and spend time with, but find that core group that you know will support you no matter what, because those are the people that you'll remember for the rest of your life. The people that will sit in the family section of your wedding, or will be in your wedding, the people that will be your kids "aunts" and "uncles," but most of all they'll be the friends that you'll truly keep forever.
