You know those characters in the movies; like the shy girl who all of a sudden has some sort of transformation or undergoes some change to become an exceptional individual? She starts off the story with being her introverted self, then something is shaken up in her world, forcing her to rise to the occasion to become something greater than she is. Usually it's a person or a circumstance that is randomly thrown her way as if it were some act of fate, and then the scriptwriters work a little bit of magic and all of a sudden: she finds herself completely and totally confident in herself, shocking everyone around her.
Real life is not a movie. In real life, people don't undergo a predetermined character development. In real life, people don't suddenly obtain confidence. In real life, people are not perfect or even exceptional.
The insecurities that come from being introverted are real, and are uncomfortable. They make you feel like you are stagnant, stuck, unable to do anything because even speaking can induce anxiety.
It's isolating, discomforting. You feel like you have something to offer the world but it seems like no one will listen to the quiet girl.
Throughout middle school and into high school, I suffered from a lot of insecurities, ranging from how I looked to my personality. I've always felt like I was different in these aspects; cause I would see girls all around me with pin-straight blonde hair when I had the more wild, naturally curly look. Everyone around me seemed to be outgoing and confident in various social situations, while I was more quiet and felt more comfortable listening rather than talking. More kids were into sports; while I was more invested in theater and literature. But rather than feeling like these things made me unique, they made me feel excluded.
High school is where I found more of what made me unique, and I slowly started to gain more confidence as I went through the years. I threw myself into my studies in high school; which reaped great benefits for my academics, but my friend groups came and went. I had seen my peers with steady friend groups and a firm group of people to rely on and found myself wishing for such.
Eventually, I did find a solid friend group in junior year. But with the beginning of senior year and more responsibility rapidly approaching, more of us began to drift apart as we realized we were all headed separate ways.
But what I've realized, as high school came to a close and college began, is that people aren't put into your life without a purpose. They are there to help you grow as a person and so you can do the same for them; and whether the means are positive or negative, the ends are overwhelmingly wonderful.
Being quiet makes it difficult to make friends and meet new people, so some people just accept the fact that they don't have confidence and give up. But what I've found is that other people are the very source of confidence. Because God made individuals to be social beings, and we have so much to learn from others.
Because personal growth is always an achievement. Confidence is not a destination, but a journey. No one can perfectly and absolutely attain confidence at a single moment in their life; but rather bit by bit, step by step. The positive influences in your life shape you in a positive way. The negative influences may shape your life in a negative way, but at least you come through and can learn from them.
If you ever feel alone or isolated, or separate from the crowd, remember that there are always going to be people there for you to help you grow and feel secure within yourself. And I hope you do the same for them.
