If I had to identify one area of struggle in my life, it's trusting the journey.
It's difficult for me to step away from what's familiar and step into the unknown. It's difficult for me to show up when I don't think I'll succeed. It's difficult for me to look into a future that isn't perfectly planned and choose trust over fear. I've always laughed at the 'Trust the journey' phrase. For a long time, I thought I dismissed it because it was irrelevant to my life.
The opposite is true--this statement is more relevant to my life than I could ever imagine.
A few days ago, I was working on some assignments after work. Naturally, I was stressing about the future and feeling particularly overwhelmed with my workload. I could feel myself struggling to surrender control and trust the journey. I glanced over at my phone to check my notifications, and I stumbled across a direct message that introduced me to "Finding You."
I looked briefly at a description of the film: "The story follows young violinist, Finley on her journey to Ireland. Take an adventure and see these breathtaking sites with her and international superstar, Beckett. Follow their love story and be moved by the heartfelt journey to finding yourself!"
I was immediately drawn to the last phrase in that description--a call to find yourself.
Everywhere we look, we see people trying to find themselves, whether that be in success or in a job title or in a romantic relationship. This idea of finding yourself is something that's become particularly relevant to me recently. These past few months have shown me that nothing is certain. They've shown me that sometimes letting go is the kindest thing you can do, not only for others, but also for yourself. They've shown me that finding yourself often looks like showing up in the small things, too.
As I watched the trailer, Finley's story drew me in for a reason. It was relatable. It was vulnerable. In many ways, I could see myself in her. I wanted to see more, so I looked through the Instagram feed for the movie.
As I looked through the posts, one in particular caught my eye--one with "Trust the journey" written at the bottom.
How fitting. It was almost like someone had seen my attitude of frustration--my desire to cling to something that was not in my best interest--and sent a small reminder to re-direct. Yes, it may seem completely stranger than a direct message from a stranger sparked this realization within me, but it did.
I'm reminded that some of the best things in life are unexpected. I'm reminded how often I trust myself instead of trusting the journey.
I realized how often I say that I trust the journey when in actuality, I'm only trusting myself. I realize that Finley struggles in a similar way. She can't fully love someone else until she understands who she is. She can't fully pursue another person until she's comfortable with pursuing herself, even when life is challenging. She can't fully move forward until she's able to trust. You could easily replace Finley's name with mine in any of these sentences, and you'd be correct.
I've learned that you can't fully find yourself until you look beyond what could have been and shift your focus to what's yet to come.
Life is uncertain, but life is good. Life is good because God is good. Sometimes we need to release our desire to understand and make peace with where we are. We can trust the journey because we know who wrote the journey. I've realized that we might not understand our situations for a long time after they happen. In the midst of uncertainty, God remains faithful. Perhaps, we won't understand our situations at all. That's OK.
Instead, I hope we'll agree to trust. I hope we'll push ourselves to speak a little bit of truth to ourselves. Sometimes, that voice might be a whisper. If that's the case, I hope you'll keep showing up and speaking the truth to yourself, no matter how quiet. I hope you'll keep holding on to hope. I hope you'll keep looking forward.
Most of all, I hope you'll keep "Trust the Journey" in your soul.
Hold on to it. Speak it to yourself. Keep showing up. The best is yet to come.