Thinking back to move-in day of my freshman year is nostalgic, yet sort of makes my stomach churn. I was excited, terrified, and sad all at the same time. I was a wreck of emotions and only moved about 15 minutes away from home. Looking back, I don’t think it was the literal move that made me anxious, but the concept of a fresh start was foreign to me. I could not grasp the fact that I was in a new environment with new people, a new school, and essentially, a new life.
The first month was awful. College felt like a summer camp, and it was really difficult for me to put myself out there and foster new relationships. As someone who is extremely shy at first, I struggled immensely with meeting new people and developing friendships. Not only that, but I wanted to go home. I missed having my own room, my cat, my family, my mom’s homemade macaroni, and having my best friends within 10 minutes distance. This whole new college thing that everyone seemed to love, didn’t feel like a good fit for me.
Although I was involved with residence life, found myself an on-campus job, and even enjoyed a few of my classes, I still was not feeling like Gonzaga was home. I remember in mid-November contemplating whether or not I should consider transferring, and I definitely wanted to look into all of my options. But while I was still unhappy at GU, I didn’t want to give up yet. I envisioned myself attending this school for my entire life and I was not about to allow myself to give up so quickly.
When winter break finally arrived, I could not have felt more excited to go home. I was finally able to sleep in my own bed and spend time with my family without having to dread going back to school the next day. While everyone was posting on social media about how much they missed Gonzaga and couldn’t wait to go back, I didn’t feel that way. But when the time arrived to return for second semester, I decided to give it one more shot.
There is something special about Gonzaga that everyone understands, yet no one can completely articulate into words. There is a magic in the air we breathe, a contagious feeling of acceptance, a unified love for authenticity and kindness in our community. The people here are special, and there is something about this campus that makes it impossible to leave. Coming back for second semester of my freshman year was single-handedly the best decision of my entire life.
I arrived back on campus in full force with the goal to find my home here at Gonzaga, and that is exactly what I did. I socialized in my residence hall and made friends with more students. I became more involved in the club I was in and immersed myself into the activities. I worked less and spent more time studying and getting a good amount of sleep. I found a rhythm, and I started to focus more on myself and what truly made me happy as an individual. College is one of the only times in our lives when it is acceptable to be selfish, and that is what I needed in order to discover that I was right where I was meant to be. If you or anyone you know is struggling to find their place here at Gonzaga, remind them that they are not alone.
Everyone talks about how GU’s community is what makes this place so amazing, and although it can be hard to believe at times, it is absolutely true. The students care for one another, the professors want you to succeed, and altogether we form an atmosphere that encompasses love and compassion for others. It can be so incredibly difficult to re-adjust to an entirely new life style and abandon the life we worked hard to build at home. But it is OK to struggle; it is OK to question if this is where you are meant to be. Just remember that whether or not you decide to stay, transfer, or just have no idea at all, Gonzaga is always a place of welcome arms that you can call home.
