Growing up, I observed. I observed the world, the colors, the sky, the ocean. Growing up I was told I could be and do anything I set my mind to. As a little girl, I dreamed out my life, my future, a wedding and children. Yet I observed. I observed people's actions and their feelings. I read; I dove into stories of non-fictional people, I imagined I was a part of their world. Yet I observed the real world acknowledging what I had read. I learned that by reading I could learn, learn how to properly communicate with my peers and family.
Finding my voice took many years, many years of not understanding who I was or who I wanted to be. Growing up, I wanted to be an adult. I sat in on conversations and observed. I was that kid who knew every news line, what happened on Oprah and how people's life changed with one storm. I grew up silent, silent to people's opinions on politics, lifestyles and culture differences. Wondering what my opinion meant to them. Would my voice matter, if I spoke up? As a child, I was told "a child is better seen than heard," so growing up without a voice led me to friends I shouldn't have had. It led me to views I never thought I would have. Finally, it led me to a lifestyle, a lifestyle where I could not recognize the young woman in the mirror. Who did I become, what were people thinking of me and how could I have let my voice become damaged?
Finding my voice took time and effort. I lost friends, but gained amazing, new friends. New friends whose voices reached mountain tops, who taught me that observing and voices can change the world. Finding my voice has brought its ups and downs, but it has also brought me courage. Courage to learn, courage to express who I am and courage to explore. From a young child who thrived on wanting to grow up, to a freshly graduated eighteen-year-old who did not understand how the world worked, to a now twenty-two-year-old who sees the potential the world has to give her. Being a young woman, in college exploring my voice, tweaking how I present myself and going out on limbs. Failing has power, failure to speak up for myself, to now having a voice, presenting my beliefs and continuing to learn and expand my mind.
What would I become, if I never found my voice? Would I be the same person, with her same friends and life experiences? How can a young child, who never spoke up, now live her life voicing her opinions? Thriving to support others and make the world around her a decent place? Finding your voice takes failure, the right people and to make sure you stay or let it humble you.
