Whether you're turning 18, 26, or 34, it is quite normal to find yourself looking for "Mr. Right" — or whichever title prefix relates to you. As someone who is in a similar situation, I've started forcing myself to become aware of my actions and decisions when it comes to any romantic interests — it hasn't been easy in the slightest!
After a few days, I did the same with a few of my peers because after all, not all of us are the same. The most common (and in my opinion, most detrimental) observation I've made, is that the majority of us seem to focus on one favorable trait that the potential partner has.
Now, don't get me wrong. The likelihood of someone existing who has every single quality you desire, without having any "bad" quirks is... slim? But the chances are there.
The point of the matter is that this one trait that captivates us so, can make us oblivious to the very traits that we wouldn't want in our life partner.
We become so focused on their potential and the person they could be, that we seem to forget about the person they are.
Another is that we try to find remnants of our previous partners within a new partner. So, answer me this: How would you feel if you were compared to someone you hadn't even met yet?
I've come to the conclusion that when you do this, as you're trying to find someone else in someone new, you're not over someone else. This means that if you actually end up in a relationship with this new person, it might not survive the weather either. This, once again, leads to focusing on one part of a person instead of the whole.
The best advice I can give is that you take some time to focus on yourself and your dreams. All of those 'potentials' you've been texting and meeting for coffee? Keep texting them if you want, just don't go out of your way to meet them.
Fill your schedule with people and things that are going to take you closer to your dream.
And the moment the potential dares to call you out on the fact that you're 'switching up,' take the hint and realize they're not the Mr. Right you're looking for.
After all, your Mr. Right Forever needs to be able to acknowledge your dreams and ambitions and support you in chasing them. Perhaps, you need to find yourself before you find your Mr. Right.
Follow Swoon on Instagram.
