Since I can remember, I have always struggled to find a balance in my life that makes me a truly happy person. It's hard not to rely on other peoples' validation, and it's even harder to find complete validation in yourself. Whether I'm overworked, spread too thin, or not doing anything at all, it's hard not to let factors in your life take control of your happiness.

I've sought long and hard for my solution to this, and I recently came across the realization I needed to find. I am choosing to share this solution because after 21 years of struggle, I've finally found what motivates me towards greater happiness, and I hope that it will do the same for other people.

Stop and think for a minute about the time, hours, and days spent dealing with things that upset you and bring you down. I've spent so much time being upset because of what someone did to me, said about me, or said to me. However, as I've grown to meet more and more people throughout my life that do make me happy, I've started to realize the very simple solution; stop hanging out with people that don't make you happy.

Spend your time doing something productive, don't waste a minute. Make yourself busy, but try to enjoy the busywork. Who you spend your time with is a choice, and I realized that in my attempts to "fit in," I've spent time with people that didn't make me smile, didn't make me laugh and didn't make me feel secure. In no way is this my way of saying that they are bad people, but everyone is different and sometimes people just don't get along, it's life.

I still love these people, whether or not we are still the same, we've had some great times together. I just want to surround myself with the people who bring me up more than they might bring me down. To the ones who didn't work out; I still want to see you, I still want to be your friend, but I am choosing to spend more time with those who make me the happiest.

If someone says something to you that hurts your feelings, don't let it ruin your night or set you off, go hang out with a different group of people, get a change of scenery or remove yourself from the negativity and find a place that makes you smile again. Once you've found that, you'll learn to ignore the bad because you can focus on gravitating towards the good.

This focus of positive energy has had me feeling better than I ever have. I urge you to make that choice and to stop trying to feel "cool," because we all know you don't feel "cool" inside. You're going to be a more confident, self productive person if you choose to be with those who have your back, and I encourage you to find the people that provide the support to be the best person you can be. When you find those people, I am confident you will also find that happiness.