Things have been really weird lately. I am finding myself having some really good UP days and some really bad DOWN days. I can’t say anything specific is necessarily going on to influence these feelings, but nonetheless they are overwhelming.

We started watching The Walking Dead two weeks ago. I know, after 8 seasons, you’d think we would have been invested already. As much as I am having zombie induced nightmares, it’s arising so many other thoughts and feelings within me.

What if things did simplify to olden times, and you were fighting for your life? It really brings in the jokes of “first world problems,” that we’re all so accustomed to. I think about not having to pay bills, deal with insurance, worry about weight and food, or thoughts of passing tests. It’s super naïve to think this way, because all of it would be replaced with struggles other people face every day in third world countries, or countries that are having civil wars. Will I survive today? Will I eat today? Will I ever wear a different pair of clothes?

I’m being humbled in these times. I used to be so aware of other country’s struggles. I used to pray, travel and do my best to make a difference for them, or at least better understand what they’re going through. Now, I’m just trying to stay afloat in this first world society we live in. I’m trying to keep up with bills, expectations, demanding jobs. I’m trying to justify buying new clothes to stay in style, and eat less food to get healthier.

Some days, everything can be separated between “us” and “them.” Other days, I’m filled with despair and concern for people I have been told are less fortunate than myself.

The light in all of this is that I know I’m surrounded with people in my life who also care. I have also seen the beauty that people display. I have done a few mission trips, but I can tell you one of my fondest memories is going to Mexico to build a family a home. It was a one bedroom stucco-shed essentially, but it provided a family shelter. I watched as their children played outside all day long until the sun went down. I watched the father hand make bricks that he would later sell at a local market. I watched the mother hand wash their clothing and make some really amazing tortillas. The beauty is the smiles that stayed on their faces. Our American mentality is that they have less, and we should give them more, or feel sorry for them.

I feel sorry for us. We’ve created all these expectations that we stop finding the joy in every moment and the hard work, and we overwhelm ourselves with needs. This family we spent a week with changed me more than I probably changed them. They show true happiness.

I just want everyone to remember this through the Holidays. Even then, not just the holidays, everyday, we are “blessed.” We have more tangible items, we have more solid structures to live in, clothes, and cars to travel in. Just remember though, that this doesn’t bring happiness. There are people out there who have so much less and find much more joy in life. I’m hoping to find that joy in this season, and know that is enough.