Growing up I was raised in a Christian home. We went to church twice on Sunday's and on Wednesday's if my brother & I's sports schedules didn't over lap that was. I fully knew who God was and never questioned his existing as a child, but as I got older tables turned. While I was saved at a young age, I drifted away from God as times got tough.

I started hanging out with the wrong crowd at a very young age. Embarrassing to say, but I went to a church summer camp one summer strictly because I knew all the cute high school boys would be there, not because I wanted to grow closer to God. I knew I wasn't living life the way he had planned, but at that point I didn't care. I just wanted to have fun, and I had a ton of it. I faked it around my parents and went to church some Sunday's when I felt like it, but I hated it. I hated church, because I was reminded I was not living the way God had intended for me.

Years later, my parents ended up filling for a divorce and I could not figure out why if our God was "so good" he would ruin the only life I had ever known. I was selfish. I was immature. I turned my back on God, but he never left my side.

Once I moved off to college my freshman year, I stepped foot in church one time the entire year. I wanted nothing to do with God. I was drinking, partying, and doing what felt good not what felt right. I knew God was there, but I seemed to only talk to him when something wasn't going my way. I couldn't figure out why my life wasn't as glamorous as so many of my other friends.

When I came back to school my sophomore year after summer break working at home, I had a change of heart. I can't tell you what triggered it but I can tell you, I tried to be the me I use to be freshman year for the first week of school, but that wasn't who I was anymore . I was feeling guilty with behaviors that use to be casual previously. Thats when I realized God was working inside of me. He was going to make a story out of me.

I finally on Saturday decided I would pass on going out and get up and go to church the next morning. I was terrified of hating it, but I didn't. I fell so deeply in love with the church as a whole, I now look forward to Sunday's and wonder what the passage will be about. I never felt as if God wasn't behind me, but I knew I wasn't behind him. I am now content with the life I am given to life. I have accepted that I am a sinner and have so many more dark days ahead of me. But my dark days, I no longer have to cover up with an empty bottle, I can turn to God and give him my heart to heal.

I am in no way the perfect christian or even a role model christian, because I'm just getting started in this life, but I can tell you; I am trying to be a better me every day so that others see God in me. I am still stumbling on this walk, but soon I will be running along side our savior.

God deserves to be more then just your acquaintances He needs to be your best friend who you confident in first with each decision, not just after a bad day.