Having it together on social media does look cool, but it is not realistic. If you are reading this you are probably feeling the same way that I have this past year: scattered. You are probably scrambling for something to hold onto. I am here to tell you that it's okay ... stop scrambling.

Of course, I want to tell you that you will be confident in your choices. Whether it is your choice of friends, college, major, or boyfriend. But if there is one thing that I am sure of, it is that sometimes this will not happen. If you are like me, you are currently questioning every and any decision you have made. And yes, that includes those sunglasses you bought this weekend. Keep the sunglasses, they are chic.

I find myself constantly referring to this mental “life road map.” I realize that I am nowhere near where I should be by the time I am 20. And that’s scary because 20, for me, is just 10 short months away. But who said this life road map was the second coming of the Bible? Nobody! Actually, I did, but that was just me being hard on myself. I forced this mental picture into my head of all of the things I need to have at this age. And to be honest, lately I feel like I have only been realizing the things that I do not have.

I am grasping for some sort of direction — something that assures myself that I have a true identity and passion in life. But to be honest, the more I search for myself, the more I lose myself.

So, if this is you … stop searching.

Nobody ever found their husband by walking outside of their house and saying, “Today is the day. My husband will drive by right now and we will fall in love.” Well, maybe in movies and unattainable fairytales, but that is not real life. In the same way, nobody goes to sleep saying, “I will be confident in who I am tomorrow," and they wake up with their life figured out.

So for all of the times that you have sat on your bed looking back at previous years, crying because you seemed so collected then and now you are just a tangled mess of thoughts and failures; there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, those nights you’ve spent crying are healthy. They are necessary. They are what help you grow.

I am telling you that one day you are going to find something that ignites the light in your life. There will be people and opportunities along the way that help you reach this place. But most important, you will be the sole reason why you got there.

So stop worrying, you’re getting wrinkles!

Just remember to laugh as much as you cry, and I promise you will find yourself when you are least expecting it.