Find Your 2am Person

Find Your 2am Person

Find someone who makes you forget all your past beliefs of what love looks like
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It's really easy to get lost in the idea of what a relationship should look like. It's easy to be swept up in Instagram hashtags, Facebook videos and flipagrams of relationship goals. There is truth in the idea that you should always celebrate your partner, you should hold hands and go out to dinners to reconnect but that's not all love is.

Love is living in the dark moments. Love is showing up at all hours.

I came from a relationship that looked good on paper, we took pictures and I posted almost religiously about how great things were. Little did anyone know about what was actually happening. We were fighting like it was our job, not talking for days even though we were living together. I was afraid to ask for help- I was afraid to admit when I was in over my head, afraid to lean on my partner for guidance or reassurance because I didn't want to open another can of worms to another night of arguing. I got used to being independent, there is nothing wrong with independence but you also cannot think you can carry the weight of an entire family unit on one set of shoulders.

I got tired and resentful and angry and I let myself be beaten down by the day. I had to let go of all that weight.

I didn't know the difference in what I was feeling until I finally solidified my relationship; Until I found my 2am person. I found a man who would (and has) dropped everything to come jump my car, who calls to ask about my day, who has sat with me on the side of the road just to wait for a tow truck because according to him no lady should stand alone on the highway. It was a flat tire and it was in broad daylight but I appreciate the sentiment. This man is selfless in order to make sure that I am selfish on my own behalf. He sees me when I'm overwhelmed and he wraps his arms around me and promises me that I'm okay even on days I don't believe it. He has sang to me in my driveway with company just to make me laugh, he includes me when he goes with friends and family. He fits in at Christmas and I don't have to monitor him around my family. He'll spend hours in the car with my dad on the way to family vacation because there isn't room for us to sit together. He sacrifices for me and for a daughter that he claims but biologically isn't his. He puts the car seat in and starts the car so it's warm by the time we walk outside. If I ever needed help he is the first one I'd call. He holds me when tears are streaming, shows up in the driveway just for a kiss. He worries about me if I don't respond- he encourages me to take a breath and shift my focus to the positive. It's the easiest thing I've ever done to love him.

We take pictures and we go out to dinners, I have videos of him singing and snoring and being so incredibly silly. What those small blips of the day don't show are the times he's dried my tears, the times I've fallen asleep in his lap while he still manages to entertain my toddler. We problem solve and we make adult decisions. We plan and map out our lives together. We take interest in each other's hobbies. You won't see all the ugly moments and that doesn't mean they don't exist, it means that we live through those. We are not perfect, we don't always agree on how things should be handled but we have a love that works a lot of overtime, a love that stays late and comes in early. A love that lives on through the mess and chaos. A love that will handle grief and heartbreak and curve balls. The kind of love that answers the phone at 2am.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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The 7 Stages Of A Breakup, As Told By Netflix's 'Someone Great'

Alexa play "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo, and max volume, please.

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We all know how it feels to get your heart broken by a guy. Whether it be in your teens or in your 30s, everyone experiences it, or already has. After watching the movie “Someone Great" on Netflix, it hit me deep in my feels. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It made me realize all of the stages of going through a rough breakup, and I could not relate to a movie more.

1. When you first breakup and will cry about it to just about anyone

We all know that we do this almost immediately after a break-up. You are just trying to get out of the house so you go to the store, something reminds you of our ex, and next thing you know, you're talking the stranger's ear off in the grocery store for the next 2 hours.

2. When your friends call you and you say you're fine but you really haven't moved from your couch in two days and all you have done is eat two gallons of ice cream and watch "The Notebook" on repeat

"Just come do something with us, or let us come there."

"Nah, I'm okay, I actually have a super busy day today."

Yeah, if you mean busy as in binge-watching every episode of "Pretty Little Liars," then yeah, count me out of all plans so I can rewatch every episode for the next 3 weeks. We all know that feeling of not wanting to move out of bed for as long as you can after a break-up.

3. When that ONE song comes on at the mall, and you suddenly realize it was "your" song

This one hits differently. You're literally just minding your own business, trying to treat yourself to a little bit of a wardrobe change because of how sad you have been all week and BAM, it hits you like a train. Next thing you know you're crying in the dressing room of Forever 21 wondering where it all went wrong.

4. Finally caving in and hanging with your friends, realizing that this is what you needed all along

You never want to leave your bed after a breakup, you seem to cancel or bail out on every plan you try to make, then finally, after you have run out of tears, you actually follow through with a girl's night, and then you suddenly realize that all along, just time spent with the gals is what you needed. Trust me, been there, done that. In most cases, a dance party is also well needed.

5. The morning after your girl’s night, you realize that having these gals is better than the boy 

Having your girls there for you in such a tough time actually helps so much. It helps save the tears, the constant replaying of memories in your head, and saves you the time you could be wasting if you're sinking into a deep sadness over something so dumb. That support system is vital for post-breakup, and even I know that.

6. You let him go one last time

Whether it be writing a letter, throwing away all your old memories with him, or by finally getting all your clothes back from his place that have piled up over the past few months or years. It is a truly bittersweet feeling and might even hurt a little, but it's time. You're going to thrive without him.

7. You truly know how much better you’re doing without him

You have reached the point of no return. You’re finally thriving without him. You’re never going back, and you know how much potential your life has and how much better you are without him. Your heart is whole again.

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