Finals week is just around the corner, and per usual, it will bring late nights of studying and stressful days of test taking. As you enter these last few days of terror before the freedom of break, here are some things you might want to prepare for.
1. When you need to stress eat at 3 am but it's going to take the rest of the money in your bank account to order pizza
2. That moment when your brain hits maximum capacity but you haven't even started studying for final number two
And somehow your professors expect you to find time to also write three research papers, plan four presentations, write a novella, start a small nonprofit, cure cancer and save the world from an alien invasion.
3. When you actually read your textbook and finally comprehend what your professor has been trying to teach all semester
4. Realizing all your hopes and dreams of graduating may need some re-evaluating
Just remember: C's get degrees.
5. When you sit down to take that one final you actually feel prepared for and realize nothing you studied is actually on the test
Well, darn. That's a solid 12 hours of my life I'm never getting back. I could have totally used that time to work on starting my nonprofit or at least begin curing cancer.
6. When your professor says they don't believe in curving grades, but everyone knows the whole class is going to fail
7. Nailing the final of the class where your professor seemed to have a personal vendetta against you
Take that. See, I is smart.
8. Taking a much needed and deserved study break
Sometimes you gotta chill and relax to avoid brain cramps. I hear they can be fatal.
9. When your professor asks you to give your presentation first
10. Sometimes you just need someone to sympathize
Don't worry, we're all slowly dying together.
11. Trying to convince a professor to give you the A you both know you don't really deserve
You didn't go to half the classes, but who has perfect attendance anyway?
12. Giving yourself a pep talk before that final you know you're going to fail
13. When you need to ask your friends to keep it down because you're trying to study and they're having too much fun
If you're cheerful, I don't want to see you. This is the study table of misery.
14. When your friends are arguing if the answer was 86 or 87.5 and you put "Aristotle"
15. When a final is so easy the hardest part about it was writing your name
16. Listening to your professor give a review on things you learned the first week of the semester
Excuse me, was that English? I'm not very fluent in gibberish.
17. When you don't actually know the definition, but you're going to give it your best shot anyways
18. Walking out of your last final and feeling like you might die from relief
Breathe. It's over. You're free. Well...until next semester. But let's not talk about that right now. Now it's just time to catch up on all the sleep and eating and breathing you've missed in the past week.