It's finals week and there is a 50/50 chance you're in tears right now. It's OK, because same. You're probably procrastinating a paper or avoiding a review session by reading this, so I'll get straight to the point. Ladies and gentlemen, finals week as told by Mindy Kaling.
1. When your teacher assigns a paper the week before the final and it's just "another component of the final."
Seriously? Could you not just pick one though?
2. When your teacher assigns an open-ended essay with almost no guidelines whatsoever, so you have no idea what they want from you.
What's that? A 10-page paper where the topic is just "Ancient Greece?" Wow! Thank you, this is so helpful to me during my time of need!
3. When someone brags about having less finals than you.
Oh, you're a studio art major? That's so cool, now please leave me alone. If I hear one more person brag about how good their finals schedule is, I might cry (again).
4. When you will literally do anything to procrastinate the pile of work that is slowly suffocating you.
Did you guys know there's a lot of documentaries on Netflix about JFK assassination conspiracy theories?? No, I didn't watch them all to avoid French work. You did. Shut up.
5. When you're the only one in the review session that has no idea what is going on or what anyone is talking about.
Yeah, so like, what's the quadratic formula again? I know what it is, I'm just asking for a friend of course. #help
6. When you stop caring about how you look.
You can wear the same pair of leggings three days in a row if you at least change the shirt, right? Has anyone seen my hairbrush, or maybe just a hat at least?
7. When your professor asks if anyone has any quick questions before the exam begins.
Hi yes, I have a question about all of it? Could you just maybe go over everything really quickly for the class please?
8. When your friends ask if you need anything.
Do they make coffee IVs yet? Is that just a beautiful stress dream I had once?
9. When you finally understand something you're studying.
Hello sir, would you like me to tell you all about how the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?
10. When you try to give yourself a pep talk before the exam.
You got this, you studied hard (kind of), you paid attention in class that one time (kind of), and you're super smart and grades only matter if you're applying to grad school.
11. When you debate just finding a rich life partner you can mooch off of for the rest of your life.
Criteria: employed and willing to take care of me.
12. When the stress eating just becomes too real.
Warning: if you're putting food in the communal fridge, please label it because I will eat it. #hangry
13. When you don't know how to help your equally stressed friend out because you're dealing with your own ish.
Sorry, it would appear I've forgotten how to interact with other human beings because I've been alone crying into work for hours now.
14. When you spend all night writing a paper and wake up only to find out it makes no sense at all.
Hahahahahaahahahahah FML.
15. When you accept that you've made poor life decisions and death is imminent.
Tell my mom I love her and my sister cannot have my room when I am dead.
Good luck to everyone this week on finals!!!
*a metaphor for how I feel going into this week*
