November 8, into the early hours of the 9th, was full of suspense, anxiety, and grief for many people. In that amount of time, I watched this whole election unfold before my eyes. More and more states voted Republican, states swayed between the two parties, people fought (and still are) on Facebook, and even mild bickering took part at my polling place. I watched friendships crumble, people laugh, and even more people cry. I watched this country in such a fragile state choose our 45th President of the United States; needless to say; I am horrified.

While I was not fully for Hillary as she has said and done many things that I disagree with there is one thing I do agree with her on; Donald Trump is not fit to be our next president. A man that blows up during debates, encourages violence, and has to have his Twitter account taken away just days before the election was chosen to take care of our country and make it great again, yet with just his words alone, proved just how much a divide there really is in our nation. It has only been a few days since Donald was elected, yet so much chaos has ensued. People are fighting on social media, others are using physical violence, minorities and women have been getting verbally and sexually harassed. The one thing that I have learned from this election is that bigotry is alive and well. I am sad to admit that both democrats and republicans have shined the light on this problem.

I am a democrat. There are far too many social issues in our world today for me to not be. I am a feminist, how can I not be? Everyone should be treated with respect and dignity, but it’s 2016 and the glass ceiling still exists. Discrimination in the workplace and the classroom is still so real. Feminism is not just a women’s issue; it's everybody's issue. We should be treating everyone with kindness and respect, but here we are in 2016 America. A friend of mine from school “jokingly” grabbed for my lady department (AKA my freaking genitals) in honor of his candidate winning. Needless to say, I am a strong independent woman who does not need that kind of negativity in my life, so I kicked him to the curb. Bye Felicia. While I respect his political stance, I do not respect his actions in response to his victory. By undermining my values and beliefs to make himself feel superior, he broke me. I trusted him; he was my friend, disrespect is disrespect. I was able to respect his political beliefs without undermining his values; it is a damn shame he did not offer the same courtesy. People like him make me feel as if I should be afraid of my political stance, and if that is the goal; it’s working.

Since election week, I have removed all political magnets from my vehicle for fear of vandalism, only to leave work to find a Trump 2016 magnet infestation on my car. Who has that much time and energy to waste collecting stickers and throwing them onto other people's property? I have been careful not to speak too loudly about my political beliefs in public, and I have opted against wearing any political clothing I own just to avoid backlash. I genuinely afraid to admit that I am a Hillary supporter, but I am not alone. Countless others have faced backlash for their political beliefs. Friends in the LGBTQ+ community, friends of other races and religions are afraid to publically display themselves as they normally would in fear that someone else will not like it. We are not alone.

People's lives, honestly, are at risk whether you want to admit it or not. People are being targeted for their identities in 2016; we are going backward instead of forward and eventually, we sink. At the moment, I am not proud to be an American because there is nothing to be proud of right now. Riots have been breaking out at peaceful protests, and with so much hate surrounding us, I find it hard to be optimistic. I search and search for someone to blame my anger on. The trust is, I can’t even bring myself to be mad at some (not all) of Trump’s supporters. They’re scared, too. Some of them are afraid to admit that they are a republican because they don’t want to be hurt themselves. As someone who lives in a constant state of fear, I am ashamed to admit that I did not even think of it this way until it was brought to my attention. While their risks are not comparable to many others situations, they still exist. I do not accept this election for what it is, but I do accept everyone living in fear right now.

I am not happy with this election, and I am devastated by the results. As someone with reproductive health issues that uses Planned Parenthood frequently for health screenings and services, I will fight my personal fight against Donald Trump for as long as I have to. I will spend every day for the rest of my life fighting for women to gain equality and show the young girls of our country that they really can do anything. It breaks my heart to know that they just watched a woman who has worked tirelessly for over thirty years lose to somebody that picked up politics as a hobby, but it’s only for now. Keep fighting the good fight.