When you think of fighting in a relationship, in most cases, according to popular opinion, the big fights lead to breakups. It happens in the movies, on television, in books, and even on the Internet.
Heck, even writers on here talk about how fights lead to breakups. Differences of opinion can lead to a death of a relationship. A bad habit can mean the end of all things, even if it's just leaving your dirty socks on the floor. It's a constant in the life of a young adult, but it's a constant that doesn't have to be the statistic, so to speak.
Fighting doesn't have to lead to a breakup. Let me explain:
See, fighting occurs when there is either a lack of communication, someone in the relationship has made a mistake, or they're simply arguing because of an underlying issue that is not conscious to either of them. In many cases, the reason for a fight comes as a combination of these reasons. Many start with an underlying issue that is exacerbated by a small issue between the couple.
Let me show you an example a girlfriend may be tired of picking up her boyfriend's socks off the floor and proceeds to yell at her boyfriend for leaving them on the floor. He doesn't understand why he's being yelled at for leaving his socks on the floor. It turns out, after many hours of arguing about socks, that the girlfriend simply wanted the boyfriend to be more responsible for his things.
Once you understand the underlying issue, your relationship becomes stronger. You have a better understanding of what the other person needs. However, in order for a fight to be over and for the conflict to be resolved, there has to be three things: 1) an apology, 2) an admittance of wrongdoing (whether there was a misunderstanding, one didn't do what the other asked, etc), and 3) an effort at reconciliation. Where many couples fail is that they don't see the need to apologize, or to even make an effort to try and make things right.
Fighting makes you stronger as a couple when done in the right context. If there's a scandal in the relationship, like infidelity or an addiction, the fighting can turn sour pretty quick. However, it when the fighting has the underlying issue of wanting feelings acknowledge or trying to resolve an issue like finances, having a fight can help to bring about better understanding of how each person feels and allows for the free flow of ideas to help resolve issues.
So, let's stop labeling a fight as a means for ending a relationship. If you're being an ass, own up to it. If you're ignoring your significant other's feelings or blowing off their concerns, stop doing that. Don't tell someone who is experiencing a rough patch in the relationship that it's doomed to end because of a fight. all you're doing is making miserable people more miserable and aiding int he ending of an otherwise healthy relationship.
Fighting provides strength, not weakness, to a relationship, especially a healthy one.
