Nothing hurts worse in a relationship than feeling as though you're constantly fighting. The stress alone can drive you crazy, and in turn, make your relationship feel more like a war zone than a loving, supportive place for you to turn to.
I've had my fair share of broken hearts, broken relationships, and broken trust. The one thing that I have learned above all is this: Fighting isn't the issue. It's when you stop fighting, when you no longer feel anything and would rather let go than find the strength to fix things... That's when you have a problem. That's when it might be time to let go.
But this morning, as I was first waking up after a fight with my boyfriend last night, and on the phone with my mom, she said something that made me immediately hang up and desperately want to call him.
"You guys have been fighting a lot lately."
And I realized, I don't choose to fight with him. It tears me apart with every hurtful word said, on both of our parts. Yes, we may hurt each other, and yes, we both think that we know best, because we are two of the most stubborn people that I know. But life without him? That's not a life that I want to imagine. The day that I stop fighting back is the day that I've stopped caring. That's the day that I need to let him go.
The fights, the arguments, the "you're wrong and I'm right", those are the moments when I realize that I would rather fight with him than have a peaceful, passive relationship with anyone else.
The moment you become numb, the moment that the fights no longer drive you up the wall, when you are so broken down that nothing affects you anymore, and that no words can hurt you - that's the moment your relationship is over.
You need to fight. No matter how bad it hurts, no matter how much you want it to stop, you're fighting FOR something. Always remember that, you're fighting FOR the person you love, even if it feels like you're fighting with them.
Find your person worth fighting for. Because I've found mine. And I can tell you, without a doubt, that loving him and fighting with him is both the hardest, and the most wonderful thing I could have ever asked for.
