*****DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A SERIOUS ARTICLE. IF YOU GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT EASILY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE STOPPED READING AT THE HEADLINE. THIS IS PURE IRONY AND A RESPONSE TO AN ARTICLE I SAW ON HERE RECENTLY NAMED "15 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A BLACK GIRL." IF YOU ENJOY A LITTLE SATIRE AND A LOT OF SASS THEN CONTINUE READING.*******

Have you ever been asked a question so stupid that you had to walk away, text your best friend, boyfriend, and momma what you were just asked because you can't handle the stupidity that is the world?

Yeah, me too. Everyday. I work retail.

Here I've compiled a list of (ironic) questions that I've been asked that causes me to look at the questioner with a blank stare to just double check that someone could actually be that incompetent to think to ask a white girl.

1. Is that your REAL hair color? Contrary to popular belief, not all blondes come from a bottle. A lot of people, especially in college, dye their hair, and I don't think anything is wrong with that. I personally have been dying my hair for as long as I can remember. And if you must know, no, this is obviously not my real hair color. It's Ion Color Brilliance Permanent Liquid Hair Color 4G Medium Golden Brown. #hairflip

2. Your hair is really long...are you mixed with American Indian? Even though I probably am somewhere down the line, I just have long hair. It takes a lot of perseverance, a lot of conditioner, and a lot of patience to grow your hair this long when it's as thick as mine.

3. Can I touch your hair? 1) You're a freak for asking, so no. 2) I barely even let my hair stylist touch my hair (SHOUT OUT TO YOU ASHLEY GIRL). 3) Why would you even want to because you know I probably haven't washed my hair in three days because dry shampoo is actually a thing.

4. You're really pretty....are you *some random European decent*? FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK, I probably am. I'm a mutt in the European world, but because you specifically asked me I'm going to be appalled that you would openly ask someone that and deny that I am because I'm *some other European decent*.

5. So you must be a really good swimmer, right? Actually no. But I can doggy paddle my way to safety if need be, and no one can beat me in a floating contest.

6. Why do you talk "black"? Ebonics is just part of my daily dialect, I had to speak it frequently in my high school to get my point across, so I do apologize if my "ghetto talk" interferes with my "redneck talk" and I truly do feel sorry that both don't seem to fit your form of the proper English dialect.

7. Black girls LOVE you! Why didn't you join a "black sorority"? Because none of the National Pan-Hellenic Council sororities had what I was looking for, and I found my home in a "white" sorority. That, and wouldn't you really judge a NPHC sorority for letting a white girl in? Thought so. (p.s. black girls love me because most people do - being a humorous, outgoing person tends to do that.)

8. Can you twerk? Actually, yes. Yes I can. Very well in fact, although not as good as the Russian group Fraules. I can wall twerk too. Don't believe me? Ask my roommates for video proof, or just watch me in my everyday life.

9. Can you show me how to dance like a white girl? Sure! All you have to do is get a drink in your hand, hold it way up high, wait for the music, and then move your body in the most awkward way possible while trying to look sexy. (p.s. I don't recommend this if you're trying to get a man.)

10. You're so pretty...for a *insert European decent* girl... OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH! Because I'm not completely full of myself in thinking that my heritage makes me too superior to others that I should be offended in someone saying I'm really pretty for an Italian/Irish/German/etc girl because what if the only other Italian they had met was someone who looked like Snooki. Case and point, sorry Snooks.

11. How come you didn't go to an SEC/Christian school? I say this, not because I'm a white girl, but because if you're a white girl who lives in the South and if you didn't go to Alabama or Harding, why did you even go to school at all?

12. Can I say the "C" word? I don't say those types of words to you, so I would hope you have the same respect of me, but if you must, I'm not going to beat you down because you're a different race than me and I once again feel superior to you.

13. How do you feel about......*whatever is going on in the world today because the world is everyone's to share, not separated by race or gender*. I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! Greece is killing me with their financial state, I'm still waiting for ISIS to come at me bro, and if I see one more "Hillary 2016" sticker I really think I might vomit.

14. Who's your favorite boy band? I am not 1DAF like the rest of girls (and a few guys) out there today. I like to kick it old school with some New Kids On The Block if we're listening to boy bands. But I really prefer Nicki Minaj to well...everyone. #minajasty

15. Do you prefer to be called Caucasian, or white? Well personally I identify as whatever the option is for me to check, but my friends and family call me Bailey.

Bonus Question: If you're from Africa, why are you white? Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

All of these have angered me. Not when they're directly asked towards me because most people who have known me for longer than five seconds know that they're going to get the most sarcastic answer I can come up with. But what does really bother me is that some people feel entitled to truly get mad that someone asked a simple question. Are they idiotic? Yes. But were they innocent? Probably. And did some of these probably step on someone's toes? Oh most definitely. When the day finally comes that we stop looking at ourselves as superior to others, then maybe we can see past the idiocy of questions by innocent people who don't know any better.

Oh, and before this goes viral (actually LOLing at that thought) and everyone jumps to the "this white girl racist" line that someone somewhere is going to pull, don't forget that I was also sexist (view #11). I judge each and every human on this planet equally, and I am an equal opportunity attitude giver. Okay Fox News, I'm ready to defend myself and become famous now.