As I've gotten older, I've realized that friends are harder to come by. I'm not talking about the fleeting friendships we make with coworkers and other classmates, but true friendship where you know for certain that someone has your back and you want to give them everything they deserve. It's a platonic friendship where you know that at the end of the day, there's someone you can call and talk freely with.
In grade school, I had several friends that I grew up with, but we all changed as we became older. It's natural for change to happen, but it also made me feel like I was alone more often than not. I used to be one of those kids that made friends with every group in middle school because during those years I was discovering who I was, and every day I went to the group that matched who I felt like during that day. Those weren't true friendships, but rather people that helped me discover who I really was. I appreciated them, but I never felt that true friendship for them.
It wasn't until college that I finally had a handle on who I was and who I wanted to spend my time with, people that challenged my way of thinking and gave me deeper insights into myself as a person. A friend didn't just agree with whatever I had to say, nor did a friend try to force me to be someone I'm not. I found my real friends in college who were looking for the same in other people. We didn't naturally find one another, but the genuine care we had for each other blossomed rather quickly because our friendship was real.
There were four of us and we knew if one of us was going through something, we could count on one another for support. This small group of friends became my everything. I wanted to see them succeed and be happy, and I knew they felt the same for me. Even now when we're on our own doing separate things, I know I can call one of them anytime and feel that same love as before.
The holiday season makes me think about my friends often for a few reasons, but mainly, I wish I could spend my holidays with my friends all gathered. We all go back home to our families, but I wish we had a day to gather and meet up too. However, I'll settle for phone calls and texts where we can catch up with one another because I know that we have an unconditional love and fondness for one another that won't ever simply go away.
