Rape. It is often defined as sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration perpetrated against a person without that person’s consent. Rape is sadly a more common thing than anyone would like, and even with the rise of the fight against rape culture, it is not nearly talked about enough. So I would like to spend some time talking about the rapist themselves, and all that they do to society and their victim.

Firstly, for some reason some rapists seem to believe that their victims in some way asked for the sexual assault they received. I would like everyone who believes there is even a slightest chance that a rape victim asked for or in any way deserved what they got, to push those thoughts out of their mind forever. Rape victims, by definition, do not give consent to the sexual experiences that are forced upon them. And one may say in some cases, “Well, she was just too drunk, it was her fault anyways.” But think about this, if someone (of any gender) was drunk, and got physically assaulted, would you say the same thing? I don’t think so. So why in the case of rape is it okay to say that simply becoming intoxicated is in any way a reason that the assault was the victim’s fault? Additionally, what a victim was wearing in no way means they were “asking for it.” That is a completely ridiculous claim. People should be allowed to wear what they want, and not worry about possibly being sexually assaulted.

Think about this, I have some friends who really enjoy wearing crop tops with shorts in the summer, and I do too on occasion. If you have a friend like that as well, would you not feel sympathy for them if they were sexually assaulted because they decided to wear something they felt great in? I sure hope not. And if you would still feel sympathy for your friend, then why wouldn’t you for other rape victims?

Next I would like to talk about what it does to society. Surveys show that one in six women in America have experienced an attempted rape or completed rape, and this includes oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse. Do people know what this does to a society that is about 50 percent women? It can cause a state of fear. I personally carry pepper spray, and I don’t think my parents would have it any other way. Other women carry other forms of personal protection, and when I hear of the various ways women talk about preventing sexual assault, it flabbergasts me. It is astonishing because women have to think of these things, and when they go off to college their parents will try and warn them about the dangers of frat parties, strangers, and trusting people in general.

I feel that our society should not have to be in this constant state. But one thing it does to society, that not a lot of people think about since statistically most rapists are male and most victims are female, is how it affects the kind of men who aren’t rapists. When I walk home at night alone, and a man walks close behind me I sometimes get fearful. I will walk faster, glance behind me, look at his shadow, or take out my keys. Now this is my own personal defense mechanism, and no woman should be blamed for having these tendencies, but what about the guy behind you who has no malicious intentions at all? I believe that he could be offended. I don’t mean offended in the way that he has a right to walk up to me and tell me that my defenses are unjustified, but in the way that he in no way wants to come off as ‘creepy’ or ‘stalkerish.’ And I believe it could make him second guess himself when he talks to women at parties, when he walks maybe too close for a girl’s comfort, or when he simply hits on someone, which is obviously totally okay if the other party is fine with it.

Rapists make this happen. The rapists (and there are both male and female rapists might I add) have put this label on men, and it is no way a woman’s fault for fearing seemingly strange men, but it is the rapists fault that nice guys, legitimately nice guys, can’t simply say hello to a girl at a party without inciting fear into an on guard woman. They instill fear, doubt, and insecurities into the population of people that are honest and genuine people just looking for someone to talk to, or looking to get laid in a completely consensual and honest manner.

I have a guy friend, my best guy friend, who has been in a lovely relationship for over a year now with his girlfriend. He is in no way malicious. He is in no way even looking to have sex with a girl at a party, but can’t even us girls imagine how it may feel to simply try to talk to someone of the opposite sex and they automatically think you’re a ‘creeper’ or ‘rapey’ when honestly your intentions were in no way sexual? It would probably be frustrating, and some cases of this this may happen even without the high number of rapes that occur in this country, but wouldn’t it be frustrating? I honestly can’t imagine being labeled as creepy, and the thing is I know I have done this myself, and sometimes I believe it was justified, but it is honestly just a defense mechanism some women have because we have to constantly be on guard for sexual assault. I’m not saying it is morally wrong to do so, I think it is sometimes just a natural response, but rapists cause this rift. And this rift isn’t beneficial to any gender.

In short, rape causes a bunch of societal problems along with the emotional and physical turmoil its victims suffer. Rape culture still exists, even though declining, but I feel that the fact it still exists at all should speak volumes. Rapists cause victims to suffer, and I personally believe that that is un-redeemable. But rapists also cause such huge societal rifts, that I honestly could not find it in my heart to understand why someone would do such an action.