I'm almost 21 and I still can't believe I'm 20. 20 was probably the biggest birthday of my life. I mean it's half way to 40. It's 2 decades. It's overwhelming. Over the past few years, I've started to make notes of certain lessons that I want remember for the rest of my life.

1. MAKE TIME FOR THINGS THAT MATTER TO YOU.

- I’m pretty sure one of the most said phrases by college age kids today is “I’m so busy” or “I don’t have time.” How true is that statement? And what are you filling your time with? Busyness doesn’t prove anything to anyone, and if in your busyness you aren’t doing things that matter then what’s the point honestly? Make priorities and make those things happen; you’ll be surprised at how much time you actually do have.

2. CONTINUE MEETING AND MAKING FRIENDS

- I can’t even emphasize this enough!! THERE ARE SOOOOOOOO many cool people out there with amazing stories, and you can learn SO much from people!! Honestly, you can learn so much about yourself from your relationships with others as well. People are where memories come from. People are where you gain feelings, smiles, and laughter. Friendships will ROCK your world, and you’ll become a better person because of those relationships. You never have “enough” friends.

3. BE GENUINE

- This is so important. Life can only really be lived to it’s fullest if you are completely real. Honestly not everyone is going to like you and it sucks but that’s life. However, if you try to be someone you’re not, it’s going to fall through. Genuine people are so hard to come by in life, and if you want real relationships with people it needs to be with the real you. Be passionate about what you are passionate about, love what you love, be weird. Those are the best people no question at all.

4.BE FLEXIBLE

-Loosen up. Plans are always changing. Make your plans and be prepared, but hold those plans with a loose grip knowing the possibility that your life could change in an instant. You will be happier the more you are willing to go with the flow, and you will be more appealing as a person. Sometimes the best things in life are when something jumps into your life. This has been 100% true in my life. My favorite adventures and people have for sure not been planned.

5. EMBRACE FAILURE

- This one is SO hard for me. I love success and those warm feelings that follow. However, failure reminds you that you are still human, and it keeps your pride in place. It helps you encourage others in the future. It teaches you a lot in the process as well. Take it a deep breath and remind yourself that this is NOT the end of the world. Our beautiful planet is full of possibilities, and we were all created with specific gifts. Everyone will not rock at everything. That’s life. Don’t ever give up, stay humble, stay teachable, and keep your head high.

6. SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE OF ALL AGES

- Set and example for those young ones, and take in their naive love of life. They are the future of the world. Teach them and love them. Let them know they are important. Spend time with people older than you. Face it, they know more than you. Depending on how old they are, probably A LOT more. Get in touch with that 65+ age group, and they probably have AMAZING stories. Soak those in. You can learn so much, and they love to share. Young adults get in this fix that they can only spend time with their own age group. While we are pretty cool, we only make up a small population and that makes a small population of opinions and stories.

7. TRAVEL…..if you can when you can.

- The culture you live in is only one of many. The way you live is only the way a small percentage of humans live. Widen those horizons. If you have the chance to go on a mission trip with your church go, if you have the chance to study abroad go, if you have the chance to go a cool vacation go, if you have the chance to work abroad for a while go, if you have the chance to grab some friends and backpack the west coast...GO! We have a wonderful creator who did quite the job. Our earth is marvelous and beautiful. Embrace it!

8. MAKE TIME TO BE STILL

- I read and article recently titled “Busyness is not a fruit of the spirit.” SO GOOD. Our world tricks us into thinking the only way to be happy and successful is to pile our lives so full that we can barely breathe. I look back at my life and the times I was most happy was when I had a few things I loved that I could pour myself into, but I also had times to sit in a coffee shop and read a good book or write this article. These times in our life are important to keeping us sane and rested.

9. BE ACTIVE

- No, you don’t have to become a complete fitness junkie. Although if that’s what gets you going and you love it then 100% go for it. However, a quick yoga class, a jog through the park, a quick visit to the gym can be so valuable. It doesn’t have to be extremely time consuming, but just something to keep you healthy and get that heart pumping. There are so many health benefits to physical movement, and you just feel better about yourself. It also is super fun to see the progress you can make in a few weeks.

10. BE PATIENT

- Good things come to those who wait. UGH, I have hated this phrase throughout my life. Patience is a virtue I struggle to grasp. However, it’s so important. We have become a culture who wants everything at our fingertips. We, want it and we want it now. This leads us to make impulsive decisions and not really think about the life consequences. You want to do something like: take a job, move away, transfer schools, get a nose piercing, dye your hair, buy a new car, jump into a relationship, break up with someone. STOP, pray about it, sleep on it, thinking about, talk to people about it. If your feelings haven’t changed then GO FOR IT. However, a lot of times our feelings do change or something better pops up.

11.TAKE THE MYERS-BRIGGS PERSONALITY TEST

- This is my favorite thing. I could obsess over this and talk about if for days. However, seriously, it helps you learn so much about yourself and helps you know why you act the way you do. Learning about yourself is really important to growing up. I know there is the cliché phrase “find yourself.” I don’t really know about that, but when you discover what you are good and what your weaknesses are that’s crazy helpful in life. I’m an ENFP, and when I saw that ENFP’s were impulsive, spontaneous, creative, passionate, non-detail oriented people. It helped me put into words and understand myself. No, you don’t have to take this test or any test. They aren’t magical in any way. However, understanding yourself is wonderful. This helps you emphasize your strong points, and shows you what you can work on as a person.

12. UNDERSTAND LIFE DOESN’T FULFILL.

- We were created for more than life has to offer. The more you search for something to fill that void of discontentment, the more we will be dissatisfied. No amount of drunk nights will improve your level of satisfaction with life, no amount of money will EVER be enough, no relationship will be the answer to your search for contentment, no amount of working out or new hair colors will suddenly transform you into the person who will be the key to you being truly happy, no amount of friends will every make you feel loved enough. Be faithful where you are, and grasp the fact that we were created for SO much more.

13. LEARN TO COOK

- This is a life skill that is necessary. Cook for yourself, cook for your friends, cook for your family. Perfect a recipe, learn a new recipe, experiment and create your own recipes. Trust me when I say you will be glad in the future when you suddenly have to make something for some event in your future adult life.

14. KNOW YOUR MUSIC PREFERENCE

- You will be asked this question to many times to count. It’s nice to have an answer. That’s it.

15.VOLUNTEER

- Why are you above this? Why do we always answer this question in our minds by saying that someone else will do that? Get involved somewhere and do something that takes up your time for NO PAY. What??? There are some really good connections you can make that way, and you could end up with a really awesome future job. Volunteering is an awesome way to build you resume and also build life-giving relationships.

16. BE KIND

- When I say this, I mean truly kind. Be available to talk and helpful just because you want to. Not out of manipulation to get something out of it. I think this is sometimes a subconscious think we do, so it’s good to search your intentions and motivations. Also, kindness is a real mood booster. Sometimes at school, I’ll just go put an anonymous encouraging note with candy in people's mailboxes, and I literally can’t help but smile while doing it.

17. DON'T SECOND GUESS YOURSELF

- This only leads to feelings of insecurity and sadness. Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself. When you make a decision, be confident in it and roll with what the effects of that decision. The grass will always be greener on the other side. Don’t ask yourself “what if I had done this instead?” You can’t go back now, so there’s no point in dwelling on it.

18.COMMUNICATE

- Some people are really intuitive, but many people can’t guess how you are feeling or what you want to be done. I hate conflict, so sometimes this leads me to be very weak in this area. However, the better you communicate with people the better your relationships will be. If you ball up all your feelings inside, it won’t end well. I can’t express the value of communication for healthy relationships.

19. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY

- It’s really easy to push your family to the back of your priorities, but they are the only people who truly get where you are coming from. Value those relationships and work at maintaining and strengthening them just as much as any other relationships.

20. GET RID OF INSECURITIES

- You being insecure isn’t helping anyone. Everyone has parts of themselves that they want to change, but if you dwell on those it’s just going to make those insecurities worse. People can see through those insecurities, and would much rather be around someone who is confident in who they are. You were created unique and the way you were for a purpose. You have an intelligent designer who looked at you and said it’s good. You were given your specific traits for a purpose. Insecurities come from comparing yourself to others and wishing you were less like yourself and more like someone else. This is a continual process, God given and we all go through phases where we are more insecure than other times in our lives. The more you learn to embrace your God-given personality, looks, talents, and abilities, the more you can actually enjoy life and people will enjoy being around you more.

These 20 years have been such a gift, and I can’t express how much I value them. I have learned so much, and have continually been shaped by people and experiences in my life. I’m so excited to see what the next 20 hold.